Cabbageboo

Good Intentions

2011-08-10T17:36:00.006+08:00

How is it that every 'good intention' that I ever made, somehow got twisted, end up at the wrong end of it's purpose. So much for trying to be thoughtful. I got told off for wishing someone 'Happy Birthday' on Facebook. I was questioned what my intentions were, in doing so. Gheeez! I am still ex cogitating, what on earth could I possibly benefit from doing such thing. Yep! Facebook-The Root of All Evil..I never did stop believing this.

I actually think it's pretty cool to have your friends and a bunch of other folks adorning well wishes on your FB. That and looking at pretty & funny pictures of my close ones are the highlights of my facebook activities. Unfortunately...I might have to suggest that FB provide me a 'block birthday wishes' button for the list of people I should totally not bother wishing. Cause some of them can be a real pain in the ass. To think that some people actually have no one who remembers their birthday. I have this friend of mine who would not reveal his birth date. Reason being, his birthday was not often celebrated and remembered ( But I get this feeling his birthday was never celebrated). He rather it remained that way. How sad, I thought.

Was reading a piece of news from my friend about a certain someone. Highlighting someone mistakes and not wanting to close one eye and let this one, particular incident slide by. The fact that her action may bring drastic consequences to that person career did not occur to 'pudding head'. Or perhaps 'pudding head' is deliberately doing this so she can claim moment of glory for herself.

Highlight the fault of others to deviate your own. Sounds familiar? It's a pretty common crime that many of us commit. Come on, if there's a bull charging at you, wouldn't you wave the red flag at the person next to you instead of your own face? Unless you're a great matador, I doubt you'll do otherwise.

So you can say 'pudding head' did have good intention by blabbering about her colleague to the management. The good intention of saving her own ass.

Gold Digger.

2011-06-22T17:44:00.009+08:00

Life sure is FUNNY!!!!

I remember not too long ago, when the ex, branded me as gold digger.(This is from someone who did not get me a single birthday present throughout the 10 years we were together.) He made sure not a penny of his, will be left to my name.

Not too long after, even my kids were labeled as gold digger. Which made me super mad. So I rant and I grunt and I bit off anyone's head who got in my way (Ok ..I'm just exaggerating here)

I was not raised to be dependent on others. And I'm certainly not brought up to swindle someone's property through a divorcement. Despite what the wagging tongue said, I live my life with clear conscience, I sleep well, despite the recurrent dream on and off.

Few days ago, the ex brought me around to look at properties. I've heard him mentioning a thing or two about buying a place for us. But I've always regard it as one of those empty talk. Never putting much hope because I am actually very happy that he and me got along pretty well lately. Being able to ask for kids' tuition money and transportation, and getting them on time was all I needed to proceed with my peaceful life.

We looked at few properties and there's one that I liked. The moment I stepped into that house, I got good vibes emanating from that place. Hmm...but I held my tongue. The owner, a very nice lady explained to us all there is to know about her house. She was a little puzzle as to why I did not ask too many questions. The ex on the other hand, was checking every nook and cranny for defects.

Lady C : He's like checking here and there huh!

Me: Yeah..he's very thorough. (Looking a little embarrassed)

Lady C : Usually it's the wife that goes around checking this and that.

Me : Well..I'm not that bothered, as long as there's a roof over our head.

Lady C : I see. (She looked at me most curiously again.)

That night I was told to call her. It's haggling time!!! My approach is very simple. Honesty is the best policy. So I told her the real deal. That this house will be purchased by my ex husband for me and the kids. Which is why, I did not show any preference while viewing the house earlier. She was pleased to hear that. Being a single mother with two grown up children herself, she knows exactly where I'm coming from. From that moment, I knew I had left quite an impression. She received several other offers for her house, but she was hoping the house would go to me. Call it something of her wishful thinking. She told me her life story. The day she walked out of her husband's life, all she had with her was 5 garbage bags of personal belongings. She struggled through life, brought up her 2 children (who are doing really well btw) on her own. There were moments when she got herself drunk and thoughts of ending her life played frequently in her thoughts. Thankfully all that is behind her now.

Days passed, and after much deliberation, the ex finally decided it was the best we've seen by far. So today, he made a deposit for that property. Due to some legal technicality, the house cannot be in his name, therefore...yours truly here will be proud owner of that place. Of course there'll be proxy. I have yet to grasp the fact that I will soon be living in a house in my name. Paid by someone else.

Hmm.....and all these years I was going on and on about me not the materialistic kind. What just happened is making me look like one huge Hypocrite. Bah!!!! Look what I got landed with??? Not jewelery!! Not a car!! A blardy frikin HOUSE!

The dear teased me about poisoning the ex. Or was it black magic voodoo??? Blerghhhhhh!!! The only thing I am very happy about is not landing with a property. But the fact that someone who accused me of being a gold digger, actually end up putting his house in my name. Now..that's a whole LOT of trust if you asked me ; ) I should just asked him to handover his heart next huh??? U frikin kidding me? Not in a million years .

The RED's Birthday partay!!!!

2011-06-19T07:04:00.006+08:00

I was fiddling with one of those plastic balloon thingy yesterday. The ex suggested I used them to give the kids a thwack here and there to release some stress. I gave it a try....indeed it was a stress reliever.

Red : You can thwack me couples more time mommy.

Me : Huh???? Why is that?

Red : Cause I made you miss going out with your friends today.

Me : Aweee....!!! That's ok baby. Don't mind doing this partay for you.

The truth is, I would never forgive myself if this party did not materialize. She's been wanting to have a party with her school friends since like forever, and she never did have any that would want to come to her party, so she thought. This time, a few turned up. It would have been an easier job to just call some fast food delivery, to cater for the small group, but I know she wanted her friends to have the home made stuff. Something prepared with lotsa love.

Hehehehheh! I had fun doing them, despite being a tad bitchy in the early morning because of the tiredness. By the time evening came, I was very happy to see her smiling face, all the tiredness left me.

Plus, the ex was being very helpful with the preparation and cleaning up. It was just like one of those scene you plucked out of the Brady Bunch. All the family working hard to clean and clear up after a successful party. Except for Boo, he just came and scoffed. Gheeez this post is so lame....lols but that's how it was.

So I came back home, feeling very good about pretty much everything.

Me the Big Brat.

2011-06-14T18:41:00.004+08:00

I couldn’t stop grinning today. My daughter came back bearing some good news. To a mother, the best news she could have are news about her children’s education. Of course there were many times, my daughter brought back more bad news rather than the good ones. Let’s just say this daughter of mine has lesser interest in academic, compared to her big brother. Of course being called ‘stupid girl’ all the time ain’t helping much. L Boys can me way meaner than girls sometime.

It’s very frustrating when you see someone who has interest in arty farty stuffs and you try to shove mundane things down her throat. I understand what she’s going through, being someone who she takes after. We rather paint the walls and have glue sticking all over our fingers, than finding out why xⁿ dx = x⁽ⁿ⁺¹⁾ / (n+1) + C .What makes us happy is creating beautiful things..not solving mathematical problems. We appreciate the rainbow, but not bothered how it got there. Okay you get my drift….

Recently, I lost a few students due to indecisive parents. Basically..when one student started going somewhere else, few others will start to follow. In this competitive world, parents are ever so paranoid about which tuition teacher or centers could bring out the best out of their child.

Even though I knew these bunch of kids are slightly different than most, therefore requires special attention, I failed to persuade their parents from changing their mind about moving to another tuition center. Of course I too, have my pride, and did not do much groveling. Ok..the thing is..they’ve been in and out of my place several times and I am frikin tired having to start all over again…training them how to apply themselves better at their studies.

The day they left, my daughter saw how tired and sad I looked. She knew I put a lot of heart and soul in those kids. This was like a mega act of betrayal. Especially when the big exam is approaching near. I then asked my daughter, if she would like to do me a huge ASS favour. She nodded her head with a tinge of self doubt.

And today, she proudly completed that task I gave her not too long ago. Her results - previous test, 15^th position in the class, currently 7^th . Apparently, their Maths teacher was really annoyed with that boy’s result. Suspected he copied most of his Maths’ homework answers from his friends at the tuition center. This is why he did badly in his test. MrCopy Cat – previously 10^th position, currently 28^th. Revenge is sweeeeeeet :D

I so wish I could give his mom the “In Your FACE!!!” look. Childish I know…but HEY!!! We’re allowed to do that once in a blue moon aren’t we?

Curiosity the Cat

2011-05-30T20:27:00.006+08:00

Was on the phone last night with a chap. At 12 midnight, guess what was the conversation revolving? Prostitute.

yeah..kinda weird to be bring up a topic like that at the wee hours. But when I am curious about something...I've got to have my questions answered.

I asked that man if he's ever go find himself a prostitute. Our friend was a little offended. He's suggesting that I'm implying he's so lame that he need to pay to get himself laid. But I thought it's pretty common for guys to pay for sex, even though they could get FREEbies.

Anyway...it all started because I spotted an acquaintance came by the coffee shop. Apparently she resorted to her old job, which happens to be in the sex trade. Pretending not to recognize either me or my sister. With her, was this elderly lady. Too upper class to be the mamasan. I was playing 20 questions with my friend at 12 midnight to guess who could that lady be. We could get no answer.

There's another lady whom I met recently at the coffee shop. She has this bubbly nature despite having gone through a hard life. Usually, she'll be surrounded by a bunch of older men. Amongst these older gentlemen, one of them came to grow very fond of her. He's in his mid 50's and she's 28. I found out that Ahpek been giving her cash for all sorts. Recently paid for her hair re bonding treatment. Ahpek works in the morbid side of town, as in digging grave holes, making tombstone etc(obviously...this line is making big bucks)..it made me wonder how a guy like that could end up as sugar daddy to Bubbly Lady. Am not looking down on old folks here, but Ahpek looked like a 10 year old well preserved mummy. Seriously no joke. He's dark to the bone and his dentures looked like they are going all over the place. Let's just say I could not imagine Lady Bubbly kissing him at all. Then I found out that she has never let the man came close to touching her. All she did was to accompany him drink tea and have meals which he paid for. He made a proposal to her recently. To bear him a child as his wife could not fulfill his wish due to medical condition. If Bubbly Lady do so, he'll give her whatever she wants. She have no need to got to work.

As I was lamenting how atrocious that was. My friend laughed and reminded me that he has a friend who also offered herself to carry a child for the man she care deeply about. I was a little too caught up in the excitement and started asking 'who? who??' But before he could answer my question, I realised he was talking about me. Dang!!!

In my defense, I was gonna do it without the act of copulation. It was purely an act of goodwill for a friend whom I feel deserve to have a child but might not be able to do so. I doubt Ahpek is gonna drag Bubbly Lady to the sperm bank and get his swimmers in her through the scientific method.

Placing Faith in Humanity

2011-05-24T09:00:00.003+08:00

If there's one thing that annoys the dear most about me is, the invariable faith I place in humans. The day I decided to walked out of my ex husband's life, I also promised him that I will not use the children to punish him for what wrong he's done to me. And despite the dear and me are at constant loggerheads due to this matter, I stood by my ground, even though I know it left the dear to think less of me and very much frustrated indeed. So the kids were available for the ex anytime, any day...and any amount of time given that he wanted to spend with them.

11 years later, suffice to say, my perseverance paid off. You see many divorced couple holding the kids back to punish whatever sins the other party might have commit. I can tell you from my own personal experience, it doesn't do Jack Shit!!! In fact..the only person you'll be hurting is that child who's caught in between the battle of two adults.

I don't know if it's near death experience or because the ex finally sees me for who I am, things between us are very much bearable these days. Understand from a reliable source that he was admitted to the hospital for several days, but I never knew what he's in for. All I know is..he's a change man these days. I certainly hope it's not the near death experience that finally changed him. It'd be a pity if it takes something tragic such as 'death', to wake a person up and change for the better.

Smile first before you expect someone to smile back at you. (Although I do not practice this as I truly believe it's such a lame thing to do) But I do believe in this; Do something good to others first, before you can expect a good deed done to you. It might take 11 years to finally see the fruit of your labour, still...it's worth the wait I say :D

LMFAO

2011-05-20T20:38:00.007+08:00

The prodigal son was about to get out of the door when he remembers something.

Boo : Oh yeah..go look up for this song, Party Rock Anthem. I swear once you listen to it..you can't get it outta your head.

Me : Ah huh! (not paying full attention to a word he said)

Boo : Seriously mom..go look for it..Party Rock Anthem by LMFAO.

Me : Huuuuh! LMFAO eh??? Little Mother Fukers something something right? I dunno what the A and the O stands for.

Boo : (Broke into hysterical shit!!!!!) Mwakakakakakakakkaka! WTH mom??? How did you came up with such shit?? Haizzzzz...seriously mom..(mumble to himself)

Me : I remember now!!!! LMFAO - Laughing My Frikin Ass Off . I knew I saw it somewhere. I got banned in a game once for using that term. The moderator SILENCED me. Damn those censorship board!!! Grrrrrrrr..

He keep shoving his kinda music down my throat, and when I finally dig his kinda stuff, he complains. Apparently, I make his music uncool. Pfftttt!! Uncool my foot!
Talking about music...a friend was telling me about Top of the World parody. And I've been looking all over the web the past few days and couldn't find it. The chorus goes something like this;

It's is round, it is brown,
It is floating all around....
I'm looking from top of the TOILET and I.....

eversince then...I could never sing this song in K. Funny shit siot!!!!

So if any of you's manage to find this little piece of gem, kindly forward to me yeah ; )

Price Tagging People.

2011-05-18T17:40:00.006+08:00

When the dear was here last, we got into many discussions. One of the things discussed, was the worth of one to another. A colleague of his, suffered from partial paralysis. She stopped working and now trying to piece back her life together. Another colleague commented, " So poor thing hor!! Pity her husband, all that expenses on medical bills etc..etc.." I almost suggested to her, why not offer sexual service to the poor guy since she pitied him so much.

Another DB (dumb blonde) obviously, making comments without engaging brain. I wonder how she'll feel if the same fate befell on her, and having morons making such comments.

How can you put a price tag on anyone?? Have to go back to see mom and dad....oh, but the flight ticket is so friggin expensive. Pfttttt!

I have quite a number of friends from East Malaysia. And come Chinese New Year..flight tickets cost a bomb for them to be with their family. Still, most of them...would not hesitate paying, to be with their close ones on such auspicious occasion. Of course there's a handful who would calculate every possible benefits and losses they'd incurred. Other smarter ones, they try to kill as many birds with one stone. "Wei, I'm coming back this Chinese New Year. So if any of you want to get married, have a baby or kick the bucket, this the time to do so."

Hmmmmmm....to think that I'm worth only 2 cents, what length would the kids and the dear go for me.

Maid I Am.

2011-05-11T17:25:00.006+08:00

Sweep the floor Cinderelli, scrub the pots Cinderelli...and the list goes on and on.

King Ludwig will be dragging his royal butt down here tomorrow and I've kept myself busy gathering ingredients and reaching deep into the cellar for all that old forgotten recipes. Seriously, I dunno why I put myself through all these bother for him. I did try not to create a big fuss....but in the middle of the night I'd be 'Oh fuk...I forgot to get the cheese...or was it BREEZE?'

Yesterday, news came by that he's suffering from swollen gum. Perhaps GOD's punishment, to refrain him from all his favourite food :D (and this servant here thought she'll be spared from all that grueling work). But my happiness was short lived...somewhere right at the bottom of the message, he wrote this;

Even if I have to eat porridge, you shall make the BEST porridge for me to eat.

Dang!!!!!!!

The triple layer sour cream chocolate cake is done. Will attempt to pimp up these babies either tonight or early tomorrow morning. Ermmmmm..perhaps the peanut butter frosting will glue his mouth so tight, there shall be no more orders coming out from his royal highness's gob. *evil grin*

Still A Daddy's Girl.

2011-05-09T20:36:00.010+08:00

Recently, one of my aunt approached me with options to change my life. The chance to work abroad. 2 different countries. She asked me to weigh these options carefully. Reminded me, as a worthy mother, I should think of the children before making any decision. Benefits they can derive from studying abroad.

That night...I tossed and turned in bed. We're not talking about moving across the state line, this is major relocation we're talking about. I thought about it so much that my head hurts. Shitttttttt!!! Just shows eh..I have not been overworking ze brain lately :(

I spoke to mom about it. She shall be the messenger who would relay the bad news to dad. After all, what good is a mother if not to bring bad news to dad eh! My daughter was against the idea. Ah Hui does not like ze idea of mixing around with the gwai lo's. Her brother on the other hand, is all YES on this.

Next day, I asked my daughter to call my parents to see what's the verdict. (I know..I can such a chicken at times!!) Mom spoke on behalf of dad....ermmmmm..one sentence says it all;

" Your dad said, GO LAH!!!! YOU WANNA SEND HER OFF TO THE AIRPORT (fyi me mom does not drive) , YOU CAN GO..I'M NOT GOING!!!" whispered mom through the phone, not wanting our conversations over heard by the angry tiger.

Dang!!!!! I knew something like this would happen. That man is never gonna let me off his clutches.

Boo: Mom..why are u not taking that job?

Me: Your grandpa said NO!

Boo : Huh..how old are you again?? Still taking orders from your dad. Got white hair growing from all over the place...still have to listen to your dad hah??

Hmmmmmmm! I don't have to answer to that.

I think the one true reason why I've always succumb to dad's whines and whims is because, deep down...deep deep down, I love him. I might not show much of it outwardly...but dad's old now. And he's no good being all by himself. I'd be miserable over there if I hear about him being sick etc..so..no matter what the prodigal son thinks....let him sulk over this issue.

In my dad's eyes...we're all his babies.

He waits for me whenever I go out on one of those late night outings with friends, which made me the laughing stock :(

Little does he know, this big baby is very capable of handling herself. What I cannot achieve by throwing sucker punch...I can certainly make it up with ze sharp tongue of mine.

Touching the Apple Tree

2011-04-22T17:09:00.008+08:00

When I was young, I listen to old people....going on and on about being righteous.

When I was young, my momma told us to be honest, good, respectful children so we may one day grow up to be good, law abiding, righteous person.

I teach my children the same thing.

But the world has different syllabus of what is right and wrong these days.

From the clinging sound his keys made as he opened the door, I detected despair. The soft footsteps I heard, confirms it. But the prodigal son came to see me with this smile on his face. His sister, who was a tad too eager to know what's the outcome, was shouting " Win? Lose? " (a girl with few words she is.)

" We got second place," he announced with heavy breath. The smile was still intact tough.

He then told us what took place at the debate competition. Apparently, even though it was pretty obvious as to who should have won the debate, the head judge happens to be this lil biatch who harbour great hatred towards his school, decided to show her uttermost incompetency by awarding the other team first place. In fact, one of the judges(a teacher from another school) did pull her aside to tell her how appalled she is over this matter. But the biatch just walk away leaving the other teacher mouthing off "Bias!!" behind her.

Earlier today, there were talks about the winning team's school teacher, berating the students over the absurdity of yesterday's competition. That they shouldn't be too happy over winning something which they don't deserve in the first place. If they could see the obvious, what more is there to tell.

I find it too amusing that such thing exist here all the time. It's happening everywhere. The government, the society, perhaps amongst the animals too. (Can't confirm the last, as I've yet to enroll Dr. Doolittle's class of 'Understanding the animals better.') It's a blardy joke!!! I'd be less offended if these jokes were performed by mindless, uneducated person. But we're talking about school teachers, head mistress, politicians...all the BIG boys and gals.

The level of obvious prejudice and bias shown in this country has reached its state of absurdness. To a point where it's making us weak. Weak for not being able to do anything about it. Weak because we allow it to happen. Weak because we became the joke of the town.

So, what happen to morale of the story??? What's the point of attending moral studies if everything you learn just contradicts you in real life. What are we trying to teach the next generations to come???

This weekend, the son is attending another debate competition in the city. When asked if he feels good about it, his reply was, " Never put your hopes way too high momma, then you won't be too disappointed. "

I questioned him on having such thoughts. Is that how one should feel if one wants to succeed?

Boo : Mom, I learned from daddy, one should never placed such high hopes.

Me : Ehhh, that's so not like him. He definitely would tell you to aim for the sky when all you want to touch is only the apple tree.

Boo : NO..I learned from watching how he disappoints me, every time I expect too much from him.

Me : Ohhhh..like that huh. (Speechless...)

Boo : It's okay Mom, deep in my heart, I know who the true winner is for yesterday's competition. That's what matter most. I might be holding a silver plague, but I feel better than those boys who got gold. They can't even celebrate their victory. Too ashamed I guess.

Hmmm...I'm at lost for words. Should I correct him? Tell him to always aim for the sky. Then again, we are pretty happy just touching the apple tree. :D

A walk in the Lion's Den.

2011-04-15T18:13:00.013+08:00

A public holiday just means more work for moi. Kids in the house the whole day = hungry machine. After painstakingly made some tamagoyaki, the son was pretty pleased with double dose of lunch he whacked.

We started talking about the debate he's taking part in at school. Apparently, our friend is quite the yapper. Ooooh...all that bickering with me finally paid off eh !!! Must thank this momma for cultivating such good 'fight back' reflexes in her kids. I knew my hard work of antagonizing them would bring some good, although I was merely doing it for my own pleasure. What fun it is to watch the deranged, perturb faces of theirs, when I pisses them off :D

Boo : Oh Mom, I told my debate teacher about you. She said she would very much like to meet you.

Me : Eh..WHY??? What did you tell her about me?

Boo : I just told her how you maki (yell) me...almost everyday.

Me : Is that a good thing??

Boo : I think she thinks you're awesome, mom!!

Me : Oh good!!

Boo : And there's another person who would very much like to meet you too.

Me : Another masochist???

Boo : A girl, mom. Told her how you'll argue with me all the time. She said she wished she has a mom who would argue funny shit back, so her life would not be so boring.

Me : Ooohhh! So you're saying you're lucky you have such Mom, who made your life interesting eh!

and the son just walked away, refusing to acknowledge that this momma is awesome, funny and cool. Sighhhhhh...typical LEO. It's him or no one that gets to fluff that mane.

Hmmmm....me thinks the girl just using this excuse to meet up with her future mother in law. Start planning all the strategy she needs to make, should one day she gets to walk into this household. I ain't that scary am I???

But our household is pretty loud. There's not a day that goes by where the scene is serene and the drop of a pin could be heard. We yell when we're happy, we yell when we are angry, we yell when we're sad. We pretty much yell for every occasion. I mean..if there's no kids to yell at, I'll yell at Oscar the dog, tell him to go kill himself.....or something like that. But the dog knows that I love him...so no worries, I doubt Oscar will climb the stool and jump 2 storey down ...won't kill it anyway if it does.

Perhaps all this yelling is due to my hearing problem. Perhaps I'm having hearing problem because of all these yelling. Gheeez...I'm getting dizzy just thinking about it!! What the heck??? I need to seriously STOP confusing myself.

Disney on Ice? More like on fire.

2011-04-08T06:58:00.018+08:00

The trip to Disney on Ice for my daughter was long overdue. I wasn't entirely sure if she would still appreciate watching a pair of mouse prancing about on ice, still...I'm hoping the trip there with her cousins might do the trick.

We arrived at stadium Bukit Jalil on time. There were plenty of merchandise on sale (make us parents bleed money) before we could get into the hall. The first thing my daughter begged for, was an over priced 'tinker bell' mug. Filled with rainbow colours shaved ice. Yessss!!! It's RIPOFF time!! The niece and nephews were busy making their moms bleed money too.

Lights went out and the show started. So did a little side show of '他说什么' Tā shuō shénme. Right behind me. It was very nice of this lady to bring a bunch of niece and nephews to the show, along with one very inquisitive son of hers, but it ain't much good when she's playing Helen Keller. At least she isn't blind in this case. Just deaf and mute. How else was she able to sit for the entire show not answering her son's non stop questions.

I was annoyed, but not annoyed enough to give the kid a scowl. In my opinion, it's not his fault that he couldn't understand what the characters were conversing.

Halfway through 'Under the Sea' act, I heard my nephew cackle. My daughter was going " Oh my!My mommy's on ice!!!"

I looked in front and here's what I saw.

Eeeesh!!! That kid of mine sure got one foul tongue, wonder where she get it from eh. The nephew couldn't stop laughing though. At least someone is happy.

During the 'Lion King' act, when the screaming hyenas made their entrance, the boy was going, "妈妈，看...狼" (Mama...look, wolf!!)

I was like, WTH!!! Since when wolves look like that!!

But the Momma agreed with the boy....OMFG!!!! What kind of parent is this??? Was she too lazy to explain to the kid or she(the mom) really couldn't tell the difference between hyenas and wolf. Common, don't tell me they have never watched Lion King before....(okay..let's not jump the gun here, just because I watched everything my kids do, does not mean other parents do as well. Still..it's friggin Disney's show we're talking about here.)

My mother, who's sitting beside me was going, "Oh my..that kid doesn't stop, does he??"

I turned my head around and the boy's mother smiled at me. Gheeez...how can I rip her head off when she's being polite and all??? Dang!!!!

After intermission, the noisy lot scoot over to the other side. Hehhehehehe! Exactly behind my sister. Boy...I can't wait to hear what she got to say about them.

When the curtains went down, I saw my sister's face was as black as soot. She was shaking her head, undeniably PISSED OFF by the noisy lot. On our way back to the car, we talked about what could be done, or what we should have done about the situation.

I, for one, am going to suggest the organizer this;

Hehheheheheh! Every time the kid speaks more than 4 words, "Bzzzzzztttttttssss!!!" (4 words max so he's allowed to say"I need to pee.")

Anything more than 4, this what you get;

Life would be so blissful.......

but kids can.....

P/S : The above article is for pure purpose of humor only. I am not working for some taser collar company, so please don't sue me.

I Hate myself too :D

2011-03-25T23:20:00.002+08:00

Received an email from the dear just now and I couldn't help laughing. Apparently he got some death wish going on because, not having me around to do 'major clean up' was something not worth living for. I know I'm a bundle of fun, but there's no need to end lives just because I'm not there to provide entertainment. Hehehe!

He last bribed me with a lot of $$$$ to help him, which I declined heavy heartedly. Can't find a place to deposit my excess baggage( my kids) anywhere. Guess people know better than to offer help. Unfortunately, someone else offered their services to him, but he wants me and ONLY me :D

'Not everything is bad in this world. Not everything is sad in this world' - I recalled stumbling upon this quote in one of those movies I saw. In my moments of 'all time low', I smiled when the dear assures me in his own uncanny ways, that I am somewhat special.

I will always be there for you, maybe not physically this time.....but telepathically. So you can chant "I hate Pohlin" all you want, I know you'll always forgive me, just like I'll always forgive you too. (Eyeeewwww...how corny!!!)

P/S: I hate myself too for not being there. And please...pretty please, don't drop dead. There'll be no one for me to fight with, if you do.

Rock Bottom???

2011-03-24T21:14:00.000+08:00

The earthquake might have hit Japan recently, and even though 'sleepy hollow' might be protected by the isle of Sumatra, yours truly here is pretty much affected by the blow.

I lost all the afternoon session students. Thanks to little faith the parents placed in me.

I did try to do bits here and there...but in the end.. find all the efforts just a waste of time.

I end up spending more than I make. Bravo to me :(

At the moment, I am trying hard to be in denial about what's happening. Not because I do not want to face reality, but because I feel there's no point in mopping about the house feeling all depressed. The wave will soon subside, and when it does, I'll get up again.

Delusional Vs Reality

2011-03-13T17:47:00.003+08:00

Having spent many hours watching kimchi series, had brought one thing and one thing only to my life. Laughter.

By no other means did I try fooling myself, that my life would one day turn out to be just like one of those 'delusional' plot. Common...who'd believe in this real world, good looking, filthy rich hunks would fall for one of those poor ugly ducklings. All these yapping about "beauty is only skin deep, what really matters is inner beauty", is a whole load of crap, if you asked me.

Which is why, I was literally off the chair when the dear told me that he kinda believe the happily ever after, hunks falling for ugly ducklings. Hmmmmmmm!

AS much as I would like to give him a good thud on the head and whisper "Wake up you FOOL!!!" I think I shall let this one slide by. After all...if it weren't for his delusional nature, he would not have stayed by my side all this while.

Sad to say for some people though. They go through life thinking Miss Personality could have Prince Charming waiting at picket fences, daisies in his hand, waiting for froggy to come home. That ain't happening on my turf I'm afraid.

I dunno if it is a blessing or a curse.

That I seem to take everything in tenfold.

If one gets happy watching a child slurps spaghetti and coo 'It's delicious!'

I am ten times happier than that single person.

Warm thoughts would lulled me to sleep, warm heart would make me smile, I'd just laughed myself silly to sleep.

That is why it's so easy to make me happy.

Unfortunately....

same thing happens when I am hurt.

Hurting in multiples time more than one should..is something one would not want to endure.

Which is why, I'm constantly reminding myself not to be carried away by delusional happiness.

Because the aftermath of it, is just too much to handle.

I rather keep my two feet firmly on the ground and let little insignificant things brighten my days.

Marry me please.

2011-03-11T15:42:00.009+08:00

With year of the dragon just around the corner, it seems many have decided to tie the knot this year, just so they may have the stork, dropping bundle of joy at their doorsteps. A bit silly to get yourself hitch for the sake of getting a baby dragon, if you asked me. Nonetheless, many would still do it.

This morning, the dear called to inform me about 'The Proposal'. Apparently our friend is in demand these days. Getting marriage proposals from left, right and center. What a way to accelerate his already huge, swollen, big, fat head eh! Even though it's only a contract marriage proposal, the dear wasn't too comfortable putting down his John Hancock on the dotted line.

The talk I had with him kinda made me wonder about the subject I chose to classified under 'taboo' all these while. But whether I chose to ignore it, or place little importance of it, as the age crept up....it made me think about who I would want to spend my time with when I am all crinkly and weak.

I think about people who brought me happiness. People who enriched my life. Those who bring out the best in me. The dear just happen to fit into all those categories. I used to think I wouldn't be able to stand living with him, day in, day out. How he'll drive me up the wall, and am pretty sure he'll be the death of me, way before I could turned senile.

Perhaps I've gone mellow. Perhaps I've gone senile. I am actually considering him to be the one person I could be with, or want to be with when the time come. I've come to realise how perky I am when he's around. How everything falls into the right places when he's there. How I've always out done myself when he's behind me, of course slave driving this poor old woman. Shouldn't a 'significant other' holds qualities such as these?

Even though he has never utter such proposal to me. Deep down, I think yours truly here plays a major role in his life too. Why else would he want me there for 'packing day'? We all know how brilliant I am at packing. Which leave 'standing pretty', the job for me. Boy..am I full of myself or what today!!! LOL :P

Hmmm! But I do perk him up, that's for sure.

So what if we don't get married? We can just grow old together right? Just be there for the sole purpose to radiate happiness to each other.

So...maybe, just maybe..one of these days..I might give him one of those proposal thingy that he truly deserve.

The Durian Hijackers.

2011-03-03T20:29:00.004+08:00

The story began on a stifling, sweaty Sunday. We were at my sis place. A new place that is. Where all the men looked the same to me. Middle age, cranky and rough. Sad to say, even though I'm a Chinese myself...I can't tell them apart. My excuse for being hazily ditsy that day.

Mom and Dad were around as usual, showing their support for my lil sis. Which I am a little uncertain about. Only because dad did a lot of telling off. How this will help to motivate her, I sure as hell dunno lols!!!! But we kinda got used to dad nagging by now. In through the right and out through the left. Although I must say..I've come close to strangling him couple of times. Me and my dysfunctional brain here, who I might add not having such a great time trying to remember all those orders, and dad chose to play 20 questions at the precise moment when I busy. He's like this pompous brat telling us we should do this and that. Arghhhhhhhh!!! I sense this is where I acquire my charming disposition.

While we were sitting about at the round table, few fellas came by showing off durians in the palm of their hands. I knew dad was giddy with anticipation the moment he laid eyes on those yellow fleshy babes. However, I tried my best in reasoning with him that neither he nor mom should be indulging in them sinful stuff. I managed to deter the durian boys by giving them my parents' medical conditions. Actually...apart from medical reasons, I kinda suspect these Durian Hijackers are a bunch of swindlers. I was glad to see them walked away from us, moving back to the other side of street, where their van was parked.

But dad being dad, he got to be a prick and decides to use the grandchildren as his reason to purchase the damn fruit. The moment I saw him by the van, I knew my dad had walked right into the lion's den.

He came back looking all smug about having bought the BEST durian money can buy. The musang king durian, known for it's rich, creamy taste. At RM 15 per kilo, dad paid Rm60 for one...bijik of durian. I almost flip out of my chair when I heard how much that thing cost.

As usual..me being me..I REFUSE to take not even a lick of that thang!!! While the rest of my family ate the durian, I looked at it as if it was poison. Dad was all edgy, ranting about how he bought those for us to enjoy, and not to worry about the money. I just sat there looking mad as a hornet.

With dad, at times..giving him the silent treatment is best when I want him to reflect on what he has done. True enough...I found out much later, he felt that he's been duped by the hijackers. Of course he did not come running and confess this to me. THAT would take a miracle :P

It's like a game we play on and off. Sighhhhhh! Maybe dad thinks I am cute when I am mad eh.

BIG mushy Boo Bear.

2011-03-01T14:59:00.005+08:00

The prodigal son bunked in with us gals yesterday. Seems that he can't sleep in his room due to choked up air condition. He must have bid me good night 5 times before he finally ducked under his sister's 'hello kitty' blankie. Shiteeee! Should have taken some pictures of that. Would have made great black mail photos :D

And what's with him calling 'mommy' repeatedly throughout the day?

As if 'mommy' is the very air he breathes.

Sighh.....When they were little, I can't wait for them to call me 'mommy'. (Would have served him my lungs on a silver platter, just to hear him utter "Mommy..mommy" )

In Boo's case..I waited 24 months. I know!!! Grrrrrrrr!

He called daddy, Jesus, everything else..before mommy :(

These days, I just wanna run away everytime I hear the 'M' word

......cause 'mommy' generally followed by;

1) ....FEED me!

2) ..... WHERE's my stuff?

3) ..... I need money for this and that

4) .... shit won't come out of the shithole

5) ..... why have I got hair growing in all those places (basically- anything under the sky..I am suppose to have answers for them)

Can't believe next year he might not be living with us anymore. My baby's all grown up. All ready to leave home and live on his own (provided I make lots of food for him to store away).

Looking at them all grown up, made me realized I am no spring chicken. Time flies....and what have I done with this life of mine??? Nothing much really.

I kept going round in circles....

How to Handle a FLASHER

2011-02-25T19:21:00.010+08:00

A Flasher - basically, someone who directly or indirectly divert attention to him/herself. And what does one have to do, should one had the most unfortunate fate to come across one? Ermmm...learn something from a korean drama today. (I knew something good will come out of those long hours of idle pleasure I've been indulging lately hehehhe! excuses, excuses)

If you meet a sexual 'Flasher', since the predator derives pleasures from one's fear of looking at the 'thing that shall not be named', one should not scream. As this will only escalate the flasher's ego. Therefore, one should look directly at the 'thing that shall not be named' and comment on how puny the size is. ROFL!!!

Earlier, after the tuition session ended for my class, I was walking the kids back to the car as there was heavy down pour. The children were complaining as to why man tities has no compassion. Making them walked in the rain, refusing to let their parents drive inside to the car park area of my apartment. Me and the kids been having this conversation so many times that I'm beginning to think they(the children) did it out of sheer pleasure of listening to me mocking man tities after one of those useless discussion.

Today was no better than before. The only thing different was, I get to watch his muck as I brought those kids towards their father's car. There he was, sitting in the guard booth, acting all smug. Thinking he has made his point by putting me through petty inconveniences. Hoping that one day, I would beg him to let parents drive through, just to save myself from the hassles. In a way, he was metaphorically flashing me his thingy, showing me how HUGE it is. I walked pass him and looked at his smug face, I gave him my evil smile. A smile that says, " Whatcha grinning at?? I've seen monkeys packing bigger weapon than yours, you stoopid tit man with small dick!!!"

Sense of Wonder

2011-02-24T16:27:00.006+08:00

Was doing poem interpretation with my students yesterday . Can't help but to be amazed at what poems can do.

Short cut interpretation, this poem tells us, not to shut the gob of kiddies, playing '20 questions' with us adults. Easier said than done...but apparently..one must cultivate this sense of wonder the like of a child, to live happier in this world. Be amaze with little things peeps :P

Hmm..I have no problem in that department. I am always wondering, am constantly amazed at the state we humans have come to. Amazed at little devious tricks my kids can come up with, questions that the children dare to ask etc. etc.

Seems like I am not the only one educating the children. They have endow me with much wisdom too. Constantly reminding me, there's no end to this learning process.

Yesterday, I watched a kid with tongue sharper than the mighty ol' sword, struck down by an opponent, with equally laser tongue. As much as I would like to remain the professional here, and hold my composure, I balked and started cackling my infamous cackle. Nothing taste sweeter than the sensational sweet revenge, I thought. I have often told the boy off for his lack of sensitivity. But...he paid no heed. No one made fun of his physical appearance before. And to be quite frank, I have not noticed anything outstanding either. So..to my surprise, someone spotted his large, BIG ears. Poor DUMBO was put to shame. I hope he has learn his lesson, to hold his tongue, especially when it comes to people appearance.

Ahhh...amazing what a kid can teach that an adult can't!

Short term Memory Lost

2011-01-31T12:03:00.007+08:00

The dear was telling me about a certain someone who repeatedly asking him the same question over text messaging. This annoys him of course, despite him wanting to try his best to understand that person's medical condition. Short term memory lost eh, still..it bugs him nonetheless.

Then we got talking about an obsession of a certain someone who keeps every blardy transcript the likes of emails and text messages for keep sake. Unlike me, who deletes everything, once I'm done with them. Thanks to a situation involving an ex lover, don't think it's wise to keep every copy of nasty, naughty messages you send to people you're intimate with. :P

The 'right thing to do' - for those with explicitly dark secrets.

Me : So why do you think she keep on texing you the same question over and over again? I'm sure she could read your replies from the inbox. There's prolly like 10 messages of the same answer from you. Short term memory lost or not...am sure she isn't going blind.

Dear : Hmm...perhaps she's like you, deleting everything the seconds she's done reading them.

Me : Gheez , never miss an opportunity to get caustic with me eh!!!!

Dear : Of course....mocking you comes naturally to me my dear. So..you know what to do now eh, you ought to pick up habitual the like of your friend there. Keep every transcript in your back up file from now on.

Me : What you're trying to tell me??? That I should change my compulsive 'deleting' manner?

WOI!!!!! Are you expecting me to have brain damage or something? Do you foresee me sending you repeated messages, asking you the same blardy question in the near future???

Dear : Actually I do. (Smirking deviously)

Me : Shitttt! Remind me again why am I slaving in the kitchen to make you all these sumptuous meal. Some friend you are!!!!

Dear : Indeed I am!!! (And he heartily laughed, as he walked away, leaving me to the unattended dishes.)

Me wonders what have I done to this man in my previous life, sighhhhhhh!

Open Doors.

2011-01-27T21:23:00.002+08:00

I've been moping about with that forlorn look stuck to my mug lately. Probably due to uncertainty that awaits me in the near future. Been telling myself, for every closed doors, a new door will open for you. Apparently...I am no good at self hypnotize. I did not manage to convince myself to believe, such doors exist. The thing is, if it was done wishy washy, I would have taken it with a pinch of salt. But I put 110% effort into it. Damn!!!! Feel like throwing the whole god damn salt jar at the world now. It sure doesn't pay to be nice.

My man, the happy man.

2011-01-24T09:57:00.007+08:00

The dear was here recently. As usual we spent time playing house throughout his entire stay here. I was the slave..he's the master :(

Preparing dish after dish for him, I was practically living in the kitchen. Before the food made their way into his gob, he eagerly captured their essence through his lens. Can't help but to be infected with his merriment, as he giggles away reading responses from many friends of his through the pictures he so wickedly put up on FB. Being envied by others certainly put my man in a cheery disposition.

Behold the list of things I did for the great 'slave' driver' :P

Day 1

Breakfast - Bubor cha cha

Lunch - Personalised Chicken Mushroom Pie.

Dinner - Clam & Prawns Spaghetti cooked in carbonara sauce.

Day 2

Breakfast : Sausages, mash & scramble eggs served with gravy.

Lunch : Glutinous rice with dried squid & Chinese sausage

Lunch : White Radish Cake

Dessert: Mango & Glutinous Rice served with thick coconut milk.

Day 3

Breakfast : Seri Muka

Breakfast : Fried Radish Cake

Lunch : Ulam Jantung Pisang

Lunch : Fried Oyster Omelette

Lunch : Spaghetti with Ham in Carbonara Sauce

Lunch : Clams Stew cooked with white wine

It's funny how I'm completely obscure in every one's plain sight, but he sees me differently. Through his perspective, he made others see what they could not see, and turned me into something spectacular. As I am not one who crave for attention these days, am a little less affected by it all. Having said that, seeing how happy he was over the lavishment of compliments on me, I have to say...somewhat pleases me too.

Besides cooking, I was running to and fro, between the computer screen and kitchen, completely besotted with the kimchi drama I'm so into these days. After endless recommendation from the dear, I finally get down to "Personal Taste" marathon during the weekend. It was great to be able to connect to something we both feel strongly about. As we squabble about who resembles who from the series, one thing we both agreed on, we're both mushy heads when it comes to love. I left the finale to be watch after he's gone back, as I made a promise to myself, to not ever let him catch me in tears.

Yes..the man who single handedly been there throughout all my heartbreaking moments, is after all...not good at handling me when I'm a cry baby. So for his sake, I've become this unbreakable, cold hearted biatch :P Hey! it's the least I could do for all the support he has shown me.

One thing the Korean is very, very good at is (I noticed over the course of me drama watching maniacs) their great, sappy, love songs. As we were deliberating on the heart wrenching lyrics. The dear suggested that I should start writing English lyrics for such songs. Surely, me being the Queen of Heartbreak Kingdom, would be able to come up with plenty. Arghhhhhh!!! These constant mocking....I still don't know why I put up with him. Then the dear told me a story relating his classmates. Apparently, one of them refuse to talk to him anymore because of the constant mocking he did on the poor fella. "You must understand why I mocked you. If I have no recognition of you being my friend, do you think I would mock you in the first place," said the dear. It strucked me then, all these years, I think I had it the worst. All those mocking/scratching/ biting, you name it, that anyone ever got from him. So..what does all these mean??? Aweeeeee..he loves me :D

With that realisation, I went happily doing my chores today.

Stupid is as stupid does.

2011-01-18T14:49:00.004+08:00

Today is 'Series of Stupid Event' day.

Went groceries shopping today, the trolley was up to the brim with my monthly supplies. I haggled a bit with the taxi driver and when we've come to agreeable cab's fare, I load up the trunk and sat behind the driver. As usual, taxi drivers love engaging in non consensual conversations with passengers. I usually had to lie my way through these conversations. I've learned better than to disclose about my 'single' status' to them. However, today...the driver was a little nosier than the usual.

First thing he did to irk me was commenting how rich I am, buying load full stuff. Gheeez..I don't see no Louis Vuitton nor Gucci or Channel for that matter. There's only necessities for heaven sake!!!! I let that slid me by. Sat quietly..and he started again.

Asking me how long have I lived here? Did I buy the property? How much I paid for my rent? Do I own a car? If not, why? Who do I live with? How many times do I expel gas in a day? Okay...he did not ask me how many times I farted in a day....but he might as well do eh!

Then he started asking me why did I come back to 'sleepy hollow'? Told him my sister and me were involved in a business, hence the comeback. He then questioned me what sort of business did I do ? Before I could open my gob, he went "Ooohhhhhhh you're so fat so for sure you are in the food business!! Right??" I almost replied "I guess judging by the way you speak, you go round children parties hired as the ASS, so kids could pin the tail on your rear end eh?? "

The driver has deformed limbs, and for him to be mouthing off about someone's physical appearance....I thought that's pretty tacky.

Yesterday entry received couple of comments from the reader. One of them mentioned this;

edward c: u r very evil , make small boy swear on his mom, no wonder ur husband run far far from u.

Gheeez....I hope Edward C doesn't stand for the 'Edward Cullen'. It would break my heart to see something so silly associated with something so sexy. Seriously...what happen to people these days??? Since when being evil drive men away?? If anything..I think men love 'evil' being. They are so full of fun and surprises. Right? No? On the contrary...being nice..and proper and polite just puts people to sleep. The point is....how on earth could a grown man came up with that sort of comment? If I want to stoop down to his level, I could have said, " Your momma must have been evil too, that's why she got a son like you." Lols!!! Okay..now I'm just being plain bitchy...shall put a stop to this now.

Abacadabra Alakazam!

2011-01-17T15:39:00.008+08:00

The witch had to cast a spell today, just to prove a point to the apprentice. The boy is up to no good again, mouthing off to the witch's daughter. What's the use of having all this power when one does not make full use of it eh ; )

Few hours earlier.

Daughter : That boy is so rude!!!!

Witch : What did he do now?

Daughter : He made fun of my glasses. Saying they are chepos. And they were all laughing at me.

Several minutes later ;

Witch : So..I heard you made fun of my daughter, cheapos eh!!!

Apprentice : No I did not. Someone else did, but not me.

Witch : Okay...since you are so sure you did not say it, let me hear you swear it on your mother's grave.

Apprentice : Say what???

Witch : Say it..."That I, the shit mouth apprentice, here by, do solemnly swear on my mother's grave, that I did not utter those nasty words to the poor unfortunate girl."

Apprentice : I, solemnly swearrrrrrrrr

Witch : on my mother's grave.....

Apprentice : on..my mother's....grrrrr , what is grave?

Witch : Grave is the place your mom will be going to, should you lie about this.

Apprentice : (Took several gulp upon realising what grave is) Errr...on my mother's ggggrrrave..

Witch : That I...

Apprentice : That I...

Witch : neverrrrrrr....

Apprentice : ne...ne..

Witch : What's the problem boy!!! You dunno how to pronounce 'Never'???

Apprentice : (Shook his head)

Witch : Well then, what's the problem...hurry up and complete this oath! I can't wait to see the effect of my spell Mwahahahahhahahahahha!

Apprentice : Errrrrr...Whatever do you mean??

Witch : Welll...my boy, since you so convincingly told me just now that you never said those filthy words to my daughter, I made you take an oath. Where by, should you lie about this, your mother's dear life will be terminated. She will be gone..dead as a doornail ...kapish????

Apprentice : Ooohhhhhhh!!! (Cold sweats began trickling down the back of apprentice's neck)

Witch : Yeah, didn't you know that I'm known as the 'witch of veracity'. I hate liars!! I make them swear on the thing they treasure most. You should come and see my collection of Liar's Prized Possessions, they almost filled up the entire vault. Go on...complete it!!! Say it boy!!! All I need is one more vial of your mother's soul to complete my collection. (The witch cackles her heart out.)

Apprentice : But the others!!! They were saying it too!!!

Witch : I DON'T BLARDY CARE WHAT THE OTHERS SAID, THEY ARE NOT MY APPRENTICE, YOU ARE!!!!!! ( Hollered the witch in her thunderous voice)

Apprentice : (Was seconds from wetting his pants) Errrr..I said it!!! I admit I said it!!!

Witch : Ahah!!!!! Feeling not so cocky now eh!!! Sighhhhhh!! A day's work is done. I think I go finish up on that delicious little morsel of naughty boy's flesh.

To Ask or Not To Ask.

2011-01-14T16:16:00.008+08:00

There are some questions in life which are better not knowing. Then there's questions which possess answers which one might NOT like to hear. But I am done being hypocritically in denial about things. So I ask questions that I knew would bring more heartache than contentment. But I believe, one has to get over the initial stage of 'ripping off the band aid', in order to heal the wound. As the saying goes, 'live life to the fullest', and I intend to do exactly that. I know my actions may have rippled calm waters, still it was unavoidable. Many would not agree with my course of action, many would have taken a less drastic measure and continued with the alternative delusional methods. Sorry..that ain't me. As cruel as harsh reality is, I much rather face it and get on with life.

I've one more task to get down to. Another edgy question to ask someone. I think he's playing mind games with me. As playful as I can get, playing mind games is unfortunately something I care not to indulge. Probably feeding of his ego from all these immature, silly games. Sighhhhhh!! The set back of youthanisms. All that energy and they go waste it on frivolousness. The punk probably didn't know I'm a lot tougher than I appear to be.

Recent events had me realised something about myself. I am now am able to weigh situations thrown at me, rationally, despite being muddle head most of the time. And proud to say.... I handled matters with slight better judgement these days.

Then there's these questions about what am I gonna do with mom and dad come next year. They are planning to come back and retire here in Sleepy Hollow. I'm worried for dad. Him retiring is not a good thing. Not when I know it will kill him just to sit about and do nothing.

My life is in a limbo. The ex husband wants me to move near him. Easier for the kids, schooling etc. But moving would mean I'll lose my existing customer. And I don't really want to depend on him 100%. Somehow, I've to figure out a way to make this work. But nothing is coming to mind now :(

Some questions are just left unanswered.

A friend once told me, 'To be a great man, one has to be able to find comfort in being alone.' Hmmm...am on my way to that path I think, with all these questions that I boldly asked. Dunno if I could last that long without being bitter though ; )

Unjustified Purchases.

2011-01-12T16:17:00.004+08:00

If there's anything that tires me these days, is me having to deal with difficult parents. The kids not so much. But parents, ermm......guess I'm not a people person.

It annoys me that some of them wouldn't spend their dime on necessary items their children need for school. There's one in particular, would scrimp and save on kid's necessity, but god forbid should she have to skip her monthly facial appointments. Or perhaps the eye brows tattoo, lips tattoo and god knows what else she needs tattooing.

I had her kids calling me, asking for meaning of words. What am I? A frikin walking dictionary??? Then there's dumb questions she'd asked me. "Do I really need to buy those for my kids?" Fark man, since when buying a dictionary is not a good thing. Acting cute and batting her eye lashes ain't gonna conjure a frikin dictionary out of thin air. Gheeez! I wonder if God paid too much attention on making her beautiful and had little time left, hence the rush job on her brain. 'Brain Extension' should be something inventors should consider to place amongst the list of correction or restoration of form and function. There's plenty who are in need of that.

These folks are from a well off family, and yet their behavior puts many to shame. Purloining every packets of chili/tomato ketchup from condiment basket at eating establishments they patronize. Clearly she was taken a back when the children did that in front of me. Not wanting to let me witnessed their cheapness, she told them to put those back. The eldest child was quite flabbergasted by his mother strange demeanor, it was clear as day this is something that they don't normally do. " What?? We're not taking those freebies?? What a crying shame!"

Monkey see, monkey do.

Good Things Never Come Good.

2011-01-11T14:14:00.007+08:00

Ermmm....kinda think that fits me about right.

Exhibit A ; My best buddies...they greet me with the most crude, discourteous manner. And yet..there's this connection between us that makes it all okay to do so. Don't get me wrong, I do the same to them. It's our very own way of displaying affections.

Me : Yo! Shithead! What are you doing?

Friend 1 : Bitch, I'm catching up with my korean series, don't bother me.

Me : Okay..I go disturb someone else.

(made another call to my supposedly soul mate)

Me : Hi prick!!! How are are you doing???

Dear : I'm ok, just tired. You wasting water again???

Me : Nope...turn it off just then.

Dear : You're a bad influence.

Me : I learn from the best. How's your day??

Dear : Tiring ...it's frikin Christmas light on board today.

Me : Whatever do you mean???

Dear : I served them drinks and before I could get at the end of the aisle, they'd be pressing the service bell. Ding Dong!!! Lights up here and there.

Me: Ahhhhhhh!

Dear : I'd say 'Thank you, be right back with your drinks' but actually what I wanted to say was "Here CeeBai, here's your drink!"

Me : Mwahahhahahahhahahha! (Secretly wishes he would have done that, would be an interesting turn of event.)

More often than not, a certain disaster or mishaps that occurs in my life, turns out to be the best thing that happen to me. Not that I'm inviting catastrophe into my life eh...just saying that sometimes, we shouldn't be too upset when something bad happens. There's usually a silver lining to them, just need to take a moment to observe and see.

Which brings to my sudden panic attack whenever things come good. Something evil is lurking behind these too good to be true 'happenings'. Will the sky fall on me? Will he chop me into 16 pieces?? Eeeeerrr that about sum up my usual questionnaire to nothingness.

Tearjerker.

2011-01-11T08:35:00.004+08:00

Being this person who's got major problem with her water works, I stayed away from compromising situations. Barred from occasions such like weddings, funerals, babies first steps, anything that could spike up the emotional gauge.

On Boo's first day at school, I had to hold back my tears watching him struggle with his school bags and what not. Seems like only yesterday, he's this small chubby boy walking in a daze, trying to save the world. He stayed back to accompany another boy, for his mom was not there to pick him up. "Stay for a while more Mommy, so poor thing, his mommy forgot all about him." Part of me wanted to clobber Boo's head for making me worried sick, for I was waiting at the bottom of the hill. I had to climb up and looked everywhere for him frantically. But the other part of me went all gooey and aweeeeee!!!! Cuteness :D

Then there was this cousin's wedding. She had lost her father since she was 6. I guess it tear me because I was imagining what it'd be like if my uncle was still around, looking at her all gorgeous and princess like on her wedding day. It was a 'Outburst of the Water Dam' moment. Once the damn water-gate opened, it flows...it flows like a strong river. I wanted to go hide myself some where, but some where was no where to be found. Hence I was nominated 'tearjerker queen' that day.

Recently, I was caught off guard by reminiscent of a friend's childhood. I wasn't quite sure how to placate him by giving a justified explanation as to why his mother made new attires (Chinese New Year) for all his siblings but not him. Instead, she pulled him into a corner, speaking in hush voices, cajoling him to wear that shirt which he hardly use. Most important of all, "Do not let grandma know about this." He then told me he hardly use that shirt because it was his favourite. Didn't want it worn out, so he save it for special occasions. Yes, I understand money did not come easy for his family then, but why single out a child like that? Even though he convincingly told me that he's not effected by it, I was like "Yeah right!!"

To make matter worst, we were surfing the net and he showed me this piece by Shel Silverstein.

Holy crap!!!! I almost broke the water dam again. Good thing he was sitting behind me. I made a quick swipe to the cheek and barked at him.

"You call this funny?? Not funny at all!! You're perverted you know that!!!"

"Me perverted??? Judging by the amount of shite coming from you, I would say you're the master at this," he giggled.

"Hey, it takes one to know one!!" I said as I ran into the kitchen and pretend to get busy with something insignificant.

Uncontrollable Me.

2011-01-09T09:06:00.007+08:00

Something is seriously wrong with me. Get the feeling that I'm about to do some major fcuk ups. Hmmmm...I think I am one of those people who just cannot have good things happen to her. When things are all fine and dandy...I'd be doing crazy stuff just to 'rock the boat'. Anything that spells normality puts me straight to bed, hence the uncontrollable urge to make things a tad more interesting.

Asking the most ludicrous questions, watching people squirm in their seats, tops my 'Fun list' . Don't you just lurveeeeee it when people get edgy??? Hehehhe! I know I do. It's like watching a lump of jello all rattled and about to go 'SPLOSHHHHH ' . Holy cow...I now know where Caoilinn gets her passion for blowing things up. Dang!!!! No wonder she got herself one of those 'chemistry set'. She's been collecting all sorts of stuff she needs for experiments. Should I be worried??? The last time she pulled 'a great stunt' was when she cut off the electric cord while the table fan was still on. It made the circuit tripped and poor scissors, singed. She however, remained unscathed.

Damn!!!Monkey see, monkey do.

Making a Difference.

2011-01-08T11:53:00.010+08:00

The prodigal son woke up with 'depressed' written all over this face. Not even the homemade Italian sausage and scramble egg breakfast could cheer him up. Still...that didn't stop him from second helping. Ermmmm...seeking comfort in food. Where have I seen that before??? Oh yeah..me.

Me : Feeling depress are we???

Son : What do you expect, one of my best friend is dying mom. Life is shitty!!!

Me : That's life eh.

Son : He's so young, mom.

Me : Yeah, and you get drug addicts who don't value their life, wasting it all away. Life is too short. So..stop obsessing about making it BIG, having money until you don't quite know what to do with them. It's okay if you use it to help people who don't have it easy in this world though. Make a difference in some one's life. That would be putting it to good use. What's the point of having all that money so people can envy you. People envy you for 5 seconds and the rest of the time, they talk back behind you. Bah!!!!

(The prodigal son went about checking every nook and cranny, oven doors open and close.)

Son : Can 4th stage cancer be cured ?

Me : I dunno !!! Go be a doctor, find cure for cancer.

Son : So fcking depressing. I need lunch.

Me : Gheez... you just had breakfast 20 minutes ago!!! :O

Son : I can't be a doctor on empty stomach mom!!!

Life is short indeed. I'm trying to live my life best as I can. And the most important thing right now for me is to be happy. Looking around me, watching the sorrow and pain, some people have endure, I feel very blessed indeed. The recent event that took place in his friend's life, gave my son something to cogitate.

Boo has always been the mellow one in the family. Got it from me I guess. All the callousness is just one big camouflage to hide marshmallow, gooey, soppy us.

Alien Baby

2011-01-04T13:06:00.002+08:00

Went to this place a long, long time ago. Took my sister in law and her family for a holiday treat.

The pregnant maiden lake is very famous indeed. Famous for its 'virility' folk lore. Yupers...no need to seek expertise of fertility specialist and spend large amount of money to get yourself knocked up, just take a dip in this lake and voila...9 months later, you'll have something the size of a watermelon shooting out of your hole. Or get your gut cut open the way I did.

The conception of my daughter has kept many perplexed. With the on going war carrying on between me and her daddy, the last thing people expect to see is another bun in the oven. I was pretty much bamboozle myself when I took the pregnancy test and 2 red lines appear, conforming I was pregnant.

There I was, with the dip stick in my hand, trying to recollect 'HOW did this happen?' Holyshitttt....that swim I took in lake Dayang Bunting. I remembered the strange, eerie feeling I get when I was in there. Dang!!!! I am impregnated by alien residing in that lake. I'm so sure of it. Boy...what's the baby gonna look like eh!

well...this what the baby look like ...

That kinda explain my daughter abnormal, uncanny nature huh. She's 12 now..and I'm still wondering if green antenna will ever sprout out of her head one of these days.

Miracles

2011-01-02T15:16:00.004+08:00

Read a message from the dear about predictable and unpredictable moments and it sparks the need to pen down these thoughts.

When something predictable happens, things get mundane.

When you make your life so predictable, you became mundane.

.....and that is why, I stop predicting every course of my life.

Having said that, you yourself are solely accountable for either making your life a huge WHOAH!!! or Pffffft!! If you choose to see everything so predictable and mundane, how can your life be full of miracles or surprises. Right, no?

I was with my parents early this morning. Took them to the market for breakfast. Unfortunately, dad was dizzy due to the fast walk and over crowded place. I thought the breakfast tasted awful. Funny how the same bowl of noodles tasted so damn good when I was here some time ago with the dear. State of mind effecting my appetite. Mom couldn't finish hers as well. I walked dad back to the car as he needed the rest. Between me and my sister, she's the one who does all the comforting, holding dad's hand should the need arise. I was never one who could provide warm touch. Today, for the first time in many years, I had to hold him to make sure he made it to the car.

I think dad could detect my uncertainty. Nonetheless, I grab hold of his arm. But dad being dad, he wanted to walk all the way there without my help. I felt a tug at my heart watching him struggling to be 'dad'. The one that held my hand, making sure I made it across the road safely. But today, the act is reversal. I wanted to tell him that it's about time to let me take care of him. That he need not keep this tough act for me to feel protected all the time. That I'm capable of taking care of myself and sometime.....I am capable of taking care of him.

The dear said, "If miracles don't happen, never mind. We'll make ONE". How apt I thought. In this life of mine, one that seems to be full of potholes, I made many miracles happened. Or rather I conjure them to happen for me. One of them miracles, is my relationship with dad. The other prominent one would be surviving relationship with the dear. Lols!!! That took a lot of brownie points. Sighhhh!!! It's unavoidable though ; )

So, here's to many more miracles in my life!!!!!

Big Bang , small bang.

2011-01-01T13:25:00.004+08:00

Am glad I'm not a cry baby on new year's eve like the previous year. This time I sailed through 2011 with an easy, cool ride. Had meal prepared by others, ( I could get used to this ) and later downloaded music of yester years. So it was all in all, a smooth ride. Any smoother I would have been on weeds :D

My friend came to prepare this wonderful, light meal. Ermmmm...how is it that everything I prepare is always sinful and loaded with carb ? Must take lesson from him. Strawberry salad with nuts and raisins is my favourite thing right now. So yummy...and healthy.

Prior to tonight's meal, he dragged me to several supermarket here. On the quest for a great dinner. Gheeez! And I thought I'm bad. Found another perfectionist who would go to any worm hole to gather ingredients.

All we had for lunch was ice cream and some prawn crackers. Hmmmmmm... dinner better be good. I'm the worst person to deal with when I'm hungry.

He sent me home and man tities was there guarding like a watch dog. A watchdog with 2 huge melons that is. While carrying my new ironing board on his head, my friend goofed around like some clown that juggles. I was so adamant on not smiling but caved in at last. Man tities gave us the dirty look. And I was so ready to pounce him, should he try to find fault with us.

Having very little sleep the night before, I was in need of a nap. So while my friend there went back home to get some work done, I was gonna catch few winks. Life is good eh. My nap lasted only few minutes due to many interruptions from phone calls. It's New year's eve after all.

Finally at 8.30, my friend came back. Holly cow...he went marketing again. It's like cooking for a banquet, I thought to myself. Better shut my trap, or I might not get a taste of these sort of things in future.

Dinner was finally on the table at 10. He was disappointed with the pa thai, but thankfully they taste great after sprinkle of nuts. Anything that I didn't cook, taste great to me.

The new year did not come with a big bang or small bang for me. It came with subtle charm. It came with friendship and all the good things, life has to offer. For that I am grateful.

Melancholy me.

2010-12-30T16:01:00.004+08:00

Watching too much kimchi drama, listening to all those mushy, soppy soundtracks is turning me into one sappy glob. So it's that time to scramble through my white box again. I relive the moments. Even if it's only a one sided correspondence, I thought it was enough. It was my once upon a time, fairy tale. At least I had one eh.

Even though the hero in my fairytale turns out to be ONE big giant wuss, I look at it as a good thing, cause in the end, he made me look like this 'big, ass kicking, frikin princess'.

I came upon a crossroad onced. I was made to choose between the path that leads to road lit with pendaflour lights or the one lit up with warm yellow lights. One that obstruct your visions hence making everything appear cosy and warm.

If I were to choose the bright lit road of pendaflour lights, I'll be taking the road of virtues. However, being this mishevious, curious person that I am, I wanted to know what it's like down that path of dim lit road. The journey was not an easy one, let me tell you that. But, because I took that path, I now have a fairytale as part of me. How many people can have that huh? Great love stories are those full of adversities. An easy passage would be a dull tale to relate.

I was fixing a fixture from the refrigerator. The plastic shelf was in pieces due to the many time it's been abuse my this house occupants. As I was gluing back the fragments of plastics into places, I thought how similar this is to my life. I've been gluing pieces of my life repeatedly, tirelessly. How easy it would be, if just like the plastic shards, I have the alternative to just get a new refrigerator. But life ain't like that I suppose. You can't just throw it all away because you're sick of putting the pieces together again and again.

That plastic fixture will never be as strong as it once was, all new without a crack. And I guess just like that fixture, I will never be that same person that I was, unbroken, without the cracks of life. But unlike that plastic, cracks of life made me who I am today. More thoughtful, more considerate and more forgiving. (Gonna go for less bitchy but I don't think I can pull that off :P )

The Right to Choose.

2010-12-29T18:41:00.003+08:00

Since I am having abundance of free time these days, I thought why not get in touch with some of those people, pretty much neglected by me. This friend of mine was telling me about her daughter who is unattached. Being a full figure lady, her mom suspects might be the number one reason why she lacks of suitors. Me on the other hand, feel that perhaps the young lady is taking her time, taking the necessary measure to ensure she not only end up with just any guy, but a union of love that last. Not trying to be blunt and crude, she tried putting it across to me, that in her (my friend) opinion, she feels her daughter have no right to be so choosy.

I then relate to my friend, my shopping expedition tales. Very often when I enter an establishment which carries plus size clothing, the sales assistant would insist I buy whatever it is that fits me. As if I should be so grateful that they even make clothes for me. WTH!!!

Beggars can't be choosers, as the saying goes.

Well...sorry to say, these days, beggars get to choose.

They can blardy well choose who they want to receive charity from.

When they want it.

Or....if they WANT charity in the first place.

So...why shouldn't her daughter choose? Any smart girl would. If you lose the right to choose, then in my opinion, you might as well not get into a relationship.

Of Love & Fairytales

2010-12-28T15:38:00.004+08:00

Called my good friend yesterday, sort of to catch up with life and such. Apparently she was enjoying her holidays, getting wasted in front of the laptop, watching Korean series. Seems to be the fad these days. I was tempted to click that link she suggested. Life would be pretty much redundant once I'm sucked into the realm of kimchiland. Ermmmm decisions...decisions!!!

So I asked her, with possibilities of me getting sucked into the lotte land standing at 105%, what's the benefit? I am wayyyyy behind with my house chores as it is. But on the other hand, kids are not around...I'm supposed to be having my break. I deserve this break.

Kim : You don't need to be so practical about everything. Just watch the series. You'll love it.

Me: Nahhh..another love story. I'm sick of watching another dumb, impractical love story. Much rather stuck my face to the screen oogling after DEXTER, my sociopath dream lover. Hehehhehe!

Kim : Oh common! Give it a try. The hero is such a good kisser. His kisses are so good that they discussed about it on the forum.

Me: You kidding me???

Kim : Serious. They said he's such a good kisser.

Me: All these from just watching the series??

Kim : Yupe!

Me: Ermm....(It has been a long time since I've watched any good, kissing scene)

Kim : Oh...they'll switch bodies too.

Me: Say what???

Kim : It's kinda fairy tale, mystical type of thing.

Me: Okay...I like that kinda stuff. Any kinky fairy sex scene????

Kim : Gosh!!! Of course not. You really bang your head hard eh? It's like you're all screwed up, up there. Hahahhahaha!

Me : Perhaps.....I don't even know myself anymore these days.

Kim : Nothing wrong watching a love story lah. We all know such thing barely exist in this world, so why not watch something light, something that makes us laugh.

Me : True...I don't believe in the love mumbo jumbo anymore either, but it would be nice I guess watching it happen in another world.

and 2 hours later.......

Lotte world , here I come.....woooshhhhhhh!

How My Christmas Was Saved.

2010-12-27T11:56:00.021+08:00

Ask for nothing and thou shall be spared from despair

......so the saying goes. And this Christmas, I applied the very saying to myself. Hoping it will ease these horrible feelings I usually get when the holiday approaches.

For some strange reason (which I cannot explain) , the holidays bring much dreadness to me. And I have this strong feeling, many single person out there, shared my sentiment.

But like every Christmas, I sense there'll be, if not huge, a tiny sparks of miracle.

Come evening, things were starting to look hopeful. I've cleared most of my workload which needed to be clear. Made dinner for the kids. They are ever so paranoid about not getting food from their dad. (Wonder why huh??? :P ) A friend came to cook something, and we swap dishes. So, when the children left for the holidays, I was not totally alone that day. Shared my meal with my friend. It was simple and pleasant. We talked about family and what not to take too seriously in life. Life is short, shall not dwell on the unpleasantness, rather we should be looking forward to new things. And just like that....I end my evening with warm heart and a smile.

The next morning, weather did not look too promising for me to make that journey back home. It was 4.30pm by the time the rain finally stopped. Dad was not too happy when he called only to find out I was still in my pigeion hole. Ermmmmmm! Go sue GOD, dad. I didn't asked for it to be pissing down like dogs & cats today.

I arrived in Kl on a cold, wet night. Was so tempted to grab a cab, but decided to save the 50 bucks the lecherous taxi driver was gonna make of me. I am so regretting the little white fib I told dad about having 'a friend' picking me up. Damn me and my ego!!! I don't want to be this spoiled pampered brat...but deep down..I KNOW I am :( so I marched my sorry ass to the LRT..which is not far. The ride back home was surprisingly breezy, of course the mp3 player tucked to my eardrum, (playing huge role in making me deaf) is the major contributor in making all things pleasant these days. Hehhehee...well...all good things come with a price. If I was to be deaf because of all those sweet music, I'll die happy.

Early Christmas morning, I sat down with granny at table. Waiting for stuff to happen. Stuff always happen with granny around :D I shove a packet of my handmade gingerbread cookies to her.

Me : Mak!!! Nah..makan ni ! (eat this )

Granny : (Took one look at the gingerbread boy and gleefully called out to my mom ) Hah..lu tengok ni..dia buat 'anak monyet' !!! - (Look! She made baby monkeys)

Me : (Oh Boy!!! That was truly a 'wall banger' moment.)

How the heck did my gingerbread boy turned into baby monkeys???? WTH )

Granny : Berapa lu mo jual? (How much are you selling these?)

Me : Tak jual lah mak!!! Mo kasi orang...(Not selling..these are gifts for people)

...and she merrily munch those baby monkeys away.

Later that day, dad took me and my niece to an aunt's place for a Christmas cum Karaoke gathering. We had fun belting out numbers that trigger nostalgic moments. Had a good time trying out some mandarin numbers, to hell if none of my pronunciation made any sense hehehheheh! No one there to know better to criticize. Someone mentioned that I should go be a lounge singer. Ermmmmm..not too sure if my kids would entirely agree with this. I've had my son telling me that he swore the neighbour's cat who resides above us, committed suicide last month after I had one of my karaoke session at home. Damn those thin walls!!!!

That night, I took my niece (who was depraved from karaokeing by a bunch of us ladies :P ) for an ABBA tour. Since my parents have more sense than to hang around watching us gals go nuts, they retired to bed early. Had so much fun with the little kid as my back up singer. I feel so IMPORTANT. Since she can't read most of the lyrics, she HAD to repeat after moi, hence making her the back up singer. Mwakakakakkakaa!!! Otherwise I wouldn't stand a chance.

Replacement Killers.

2010-12-12T07:58:00.006+08:00

The 'dear' came yesterday. As we were having dinner, me sipping my gorgeous Riesling (which he bought), he dropped the bomb on me. Told me that I am nothing but a 'replacement' itinerary for a certain someone's Christmas plans. That earns a fucking A++++

And here I thought....Christmas couldn't be much worse than being alone. Boy!!The big guy just lurveeeee to gauge my tolerance level.

Hate it that I am people's second choice!!! Wait a minute..not second, I'm the third...choice. Blerghhhhh! Don't they know I'm a drama mama??? Hey...You don't put someone like me on the side, I'm the blardy CENTRE PIECE wokay! Ermmmm...then again..I hate the attention...so much for being the centre piece, bah!!!

Christmas is beginning to look bleak to me. I think what I need is some 'evil doing'. That ought to put me into the festivity mood. Let's see...who can I torture...or cast spells on? Damn...all the little people are away on holidays....

Nobody to torture, so the dear brought me out for some retail therapy. We walked all over the mall the whole frikin day. Made pit stops here and there to fill our stomachs....soul therapy!!!

Ooooh!! One weird thing, I noticed our blankets got switched the first night he was here. Wonder how the heck that happens???? I blame it on his greediness. He prolly took mine in the middle of the night and I snatched his, when my legs were frikin freezing.

Crumbs for Cake.

2010-12-11T12:57:00.008+08:00

So..I was walking merrily on my way to market when an ex neighbour spotted me and stopped for a chat.

Mrs Jones : Hi...The world is so small eh. Didn't realised you're actually a niece to one of our family friends.

Me : Oh yeah, the world is so small indeed.

Mrs Jones : He didn't know you guys closed the kindergarten. he was truly shocked indeed.

Me : Ohhhhhhh! (I forgot to broadcast to the whole wide world about it I guess.)

Mrs Jones : So..WHY did you close?

Me : Personal matters...we couldn't find any other way to keep it going.

Mrs Jones : I see...that's too bad..you guys were doing so well.

Me : Ah huh!

Mrs Jones : In fact the wife was telling me that she gave you her whole reading system, you guys were running the kindy with that, weren't you?. It's a good system I heard.

Me: Errrrrrr...she gave me all the old books and knick knacks, (I am very sure she did not give me her trade secret) but we did not USE her method. I was using a totally different one.

Mrs Jones : (Looking like I just pulled her tongue and twist it 180 degrees) Oh...Oh!!

Me: Ok..Ciao then!

Mrs Jones : Bye...!

Funny how people tend to exaggerate their gifts to others. I got hands me down and people are telling others that they gave the whole frikin trade secret. It's like 'Mr.Secret Recipe' let me eat some crumbs which he dust off from his fingers, and told everyone he just shared with me the whole cake and taught me how to bake his secret recipe's cakes. Fuking A!!!

A Morbid Xmas.

2010-12-06T10:32:00.017+08:00

As usual, the yuletide festivity made its approach with a swish of that mystic touch. Where miracles happen, warmth seeps in, warming up everything that's cold (e.g. this blardy cold hearted biatch) , hence making this world a better place. Am I deluded for having such thoughts? Lame.....super lame as my son would put it.

That is pretty much what I would hope to feel during this time of year. However, this time...the wanderlust had taken total control of me and I find myself longing to jump on a train and take me on that trip to no where.

I've no clue where I'm gonna park my ass. I just know I need to be somewhere. I've been googling the train schedule, staring at maps of Malaysia, and if I could master the art of Pendulum, trust me..I would be applying it by now.

Boarding a bus with no prior intentions could be FUN. I've always wanted to do that. Go on that self discovery trip that I've been wanting to do. The thing is..acting on it is a total different ball game. Would I dare to do it? Would I? Would I??????

Monopoly anyone?

2010-12-02T16:28:00.011+08:00

Monopoly for the posh.

The holiday classes started yesterday. The morning troop came with 2 unfamiliar faces. Ermmm...should I be annoyed? Should I? Should I? Dang!!! Told myself to welcome surprises with open mind and heart. So..a change I must accept.

This morning, additional 2 came. I've a total 0f 8 little monkeys with me. Oh Boy!!!!
To my surprise, they love a game of Monopoly. Hmmmmmmm....I thought I might as well take advantage of this. No game unless every transaction of the game conversed in English.

Hehehehehehe! Evil!!!!!
All I can say is those kids were fast picking up on ' Business English'. They were money laundering and god knows what else. Nothing I ever heard of, in my version of Monopoly.

Get the dog off MY PROPERTY!!!!

Me: Hey! That's not how you play monopoly!!!
Student : Teacher....this is our version, the rules are different.
Me: Adoi!!! You can't build a house until you bought all the same colour sites.
Student : No need lah teacher...like that so slow...we want to get rich fast you know!!! Heheehhehe!

Gheeez....I could just picture him when he's all grown up. What a conniving businessman he'll be.

Show me the MONEY!!!!

Unstoppable Potter and Twitchy kids.

2010-12-01T10:48:00.009+08:00

Went for a movie marathon yesterday. Must say it was glorious. No one to irritate me.

I get to watch the movie in peace despite having to change seat several time due to a family with strings of kids. Can't make up their blardy mind where to place their ass. Hhehehehehe!...Boy am I glad I did not bring my battalion.

Having read all the Potter books, I can't refrain myself from watching a movie that many voiced their disgruntle over. How can I?? It's a grave sin to not complete the whole series. Not when I have been following from 1 to 6. Sighhhhh! The movie ain't as bad as many said. Then again I'm a potter fan. Enuff said!

Potter is no longer a boy.

It ain't as nail bitting as "Unstoppable". I was at the edge of my seat the entire show. Of course Denzel played a HUGE part in that ; ) . There's just something about him that got me dumbstruck, stupefied like one female buffoon. I swear that man makes me wanna pee every time I see him open his gob.

he's all yummy and bald

Came back late in the evening. The bus had to make stop for diesels again. Ermmmmm..seems like all the buses I'm on today had to make their stops for diesel WTH!!!! A good thing I enjoy bus rides. The only thing I don't enjoy about bus rides are those annoying youth who behaves worse than monkeys at Zoo. They want their presence felt I guess, hence the loud noises and silly giggles. But the thing that irk me most is the constant shaking. They twitched about in their seats so much, it rattled the whole bus. I'm like jelly on a plate. It's not a good thing having me wobbled all over the place I tell you. Cause that made me extra wonky. And I'm wonky enough as it is. Good thing my stop came before I decide to snap that little neck of his, that little twerp who sits directly in front of me. Praise the lord for good timing.

Everybody Lies.

2010-11-29T08:03:00.009+08:00

That ought to be my motto from now on. I dunno why momma bother bringing me up right with 'honesty is the best policy', not when I face nothing but shitz by telling the truth.

As much as I would like to claim credit for being this honest person that my parents painstakingly tried to make out of me, I'm afraid I've jumped into the band wagon like everybody else.

How am I supposed to not to??? Not when people keep shoving down my throat to LIE about this and that.

The thing is...I'm such the BAD liar. What with the diminishing memory space, I tend to forget which is it that's suppose to be a lie and which is not. My facts and fictions are one blardy hodpodge in that brain of mine. Blerghhhhhhh!

So....I think it would be best that I keep my social activity to minimal. There's no shutting this mouth of mine eh...better to keep away from the source.

Why the need to lie???

1) Keep up with appearance? (Not that I give two farking hoots)

2) Prevention of causing unnecessary HURT to other's. (Okay...I can agree with that, but sooner or later the truth got to be presented or people will never learn their mistakes/shortcomings etc etc...)

3) in my case....I guess so I don't appear like the town's Harlot.

There's no pleasing the people is there? When will my so call 'people' actually behave like my people and back me up instead of pushing me back into a corner?

Sometime, I feel like some people JUST could not stand to see me happy. But they forget, that I am one who is easily pleased. I find happiness in the tiniest, most insignificant stuffs around me.

Well..better luck next time, for now....I am at peace amongst my quiet and 'peopleless' surroundings.

What's with the crazies???

2010-11-20T08:48:00.004+08:00

It seems that I am surrounded by crazy folks lately.

Yep..crazy people dig me.

Perhaps because I am a little cookie myself..I dunno..whatever...

The thing is..how do you define that someone is crazy?

Is it because they act all weird and stuff?

Been to mental institution?

Currently on anti psychotic drugs?

Ok the bottom 2..I have to agree..cause YOU are definitely in need of medical attention.

But the first reason, hardly a cause for people to switched on the 'amber alert' whenever they see someone they deem weird, sharing food or having conversation with.

Didn't know weirdsomeness could be transmitted through food sharing eh.

Anyway...don't see what so frikin bad about being weird?

I happen to think weird people make more sense than the normal robots.

At least they are who they are.

Unlike most who pretends to be what they are not.

To be quiet honest, I happened to share many intellectual conversations with some of them.

Something not many 'normal' folks could carry out.

The society seem to have this unwritten law on what 'normal' is.

And when you don't fit into any of those category......

you're labeled "COOKIE", not the one for human consumptions I'm afraid, but the ones they can poke fun at, or divert people attention to, so their own life would not be put under the microscopic lens.

Having yourself under the microscope is no roller coaster ride.

Your every move, motives are being questioned.

It is of no frikin wonder these people finally go crazy.

Who wouldn't?

I see frustrations in their eyes, and I feel for them.

I know it's not easy trying to make people see what you are when people already cast their verdict on you.

Human being can be so cruel.

It is often we do not see good in mankind.

It is often we only see greed and envy.

It is in time such as these when I hope and pray that people stop progressing and reflect on what they've done that could bring forth the downfall of their own race.

Lastly...please do not think that someone is crazy JUST because you don't understand them.

Perhaps you are not blessed with special aptitude to enable you have a grasp of them, so don't be quick to judge on something so clever when you are not equipped to do so.

Lemmo, Sammy & Syphilis.

2010-11-18T07:49:00.012+08:00

I was in the mid of preparing lasagna yesterday when my son walked in on me.

Son : Mom, I'm hungry....you made me so mad that I am hungry again....you see..if I had received my game today..I wouldn't be fuming and angry. I'd be on that controller, clicking mad until there's no tomorrow. It's all your fault...you made me buy the Region 3. Did you know that I studied so hard just so I get good result, just so I can PLAY with clear conscience. Do you know that??? Do you? Do you?

Mom : It's idiotic to pay extra 20 just so you can have the game 2 days earlier. All because of that stupid game.

Son : Mom...don't say that..you could get shot in Canada for saying Assassin's Creed is stoopid. seriously...don't ever do that again!!!!

Mom : Get in that room of yours and stop congesting my kitchen.

(Obviously.....the son pretends not to hear a single word I said and continued to pace in and out of the kitchen,bugging the living daylights of me)

Son : I'm so glad me and all my mates are going to 'Alpha' next year. It's worth all the midnight oil I burned. And I'm super glad that mama's boy Lemmo is not going to Alpha.

Mom : No need to see his sick face huh? Hehhehehe!

Son : Common Mom! Lemmo is a Dickhead

Mom : I think a dick look better than him.

Son : Oh you are so right!!!Lemmo is a dickhead with Syphillis. Mwahahhahahhhhahahah!

Mom : Mwahahahahhahahhahahhhahha! Stop making me laugh, I'm gonna screw up this dish.

Son : Seriously mom..do you know how a dick with Syphilis look like?

Mom : Hhehehehhee! No I DON'T!!! And I don't wish to know either.

Son : My friend said it look like a dick covered in "nasi goreng" (Nasi Goreng=fried rice)

Mom : Mwahahahahhahahahha! Shit!!!! I'm shitting my pants here. That's hilarious. How did your friend come up with that?

Son : Hehhehehehhehehe! Sammy came up to me one day and said, "Do you know what syphilis is? This chick send me an email with pictures about it. Holy shit..look like nasi goreng siot!!!!!" Then I told him, "You piece of shit!!! Now you've just ruined nasi goreng for me..you know how I like fried rice right , Mom???"

Mom : Mwahahahahhahahhhaah! I guess there'll be no more fried rice for you eh?

Son : Errrrrrrrrr! See how...I might be able to do a mental block on that.

Mom : (Now I will never be able to look at Nasi Goreng without picturing them covering a dick!!! Damn!)

Son : Ok..chop chop....I'm hungry. And by chop chop I mean HURRY UP!!!

Mom : (How can he still be hungry after discussing STD??? Boys...gross as ever.)

You had a BAD day, you found a good friend and turn it around.

2010-11-14T08:28:00.007+08:00

1.19am.......my mobile was screaming at me, jolting me outta my bed. Oh shittttttt! I slept....while he was struggling to get here.

Me : Where are you????

Royal Highness : I'm down stairs..

Me : I'm there....I'm there..

Royal highness paid me a visit last week. Arriving at my door steps, and may I add at ungodly hours. Thankfully, his spirit was more of a chirpy nature instead of the usual exasperated, bitchy, ready to pounce on the next available victim ie. ME.

I was very curious to this unlikely temperament of his. Especially after the ill fated information that I carelessly provide him (last bus from Larkin to Melaka is 7pm not 8 as stated on the web blerghhh!) , I was pretty sure I'm headed to doom town. So he had to drag his sorry ass on a bus to KL instead and thrown out at the Ayer Keroh toll gate. :( To make matter worst, the frikin bus was waiting till occupancy reach it's max capacity before finally decides to 'Autobots roll out'. His royal highness had to endure much idle time on the bus with an empty stomach. And when he finally decides he could not wait any longer and bought himself dinner, the demented, 'godfather wannabe' driver ( I kid you not, he was in trench coat) told him off for eating on the bus. "Berjam jam dalam bas tak makan, sekarang baru nak makan!!!!!"

As I was listening to him narrating this story to me, my stomach did triple, quadruple somersault. Boy...was I nervous as to what outcome shall befell on me. The guilt trip alone is gonna cause me a BOMB. I am so gonna pay for this........(so I thought huh)

Me : Are you ok? You tired?

Royal Highness : I'm relieved.

Me : (Checking his facial expression, Hannibal Lecter or Amir Khan's? Phewwwww! He got his Amir Khan's smiles on his mutt.)

Royal Highness : I'm just glad I am safe and here in one piece.

Me : Ah huh! (Still worried.....him smiling after such disastrous journey is never a good thing)

Royal Highness : I'm just happy going through today's event got me acquainted to many good people.

Me : Huh??? You lost me here.

Royal Highness : I met so many nice people at the Toll gate. There's another girl on the same bus whom I walk together with from the highway to the toll gate. She felt so sorry she couldn't give me a lift because her friend came with a motorcycle. Still..nice of her to offer.

Me : Ah huh!

Royal Highness : Then there's this taxi driver, he too couldn't give me a lift as he's waiting for his client heading for JB, but the cab bringing his client is heading back to Melaka town, so I can hop into that.

Me : Ohhhhh thank gawd!!!!!

Royal Highness : When I went inside the taxi, you know what the driver asked me?

Me : What??

Royal Highness : He asked me how come I did not inquire how much the taxi fare gonna be? After all..we're talking about ungodly hours here. Was I not afraid that he's going to slit my throat? I told him.."I have no choice do I? If you want to over charge me it's ok lah."

Me : Holy cow!!! So how much did you pay him????

Royal Highness : Hehhehehehhehe! He did not overcharge me.

Me : Aweeeee! Awesomeeeeee!

Royal Highness : See...you must place some faith in human beings. There's still good people about.

Me : (Couldn't stop smiling as my ass is definitely spared from the kick up for now!!!!Thank gawd for good, decent people out there)

Prior to the whole shindango, I did my own discovery of good people as well. I met this dude who happens to be my sister's regular customer. Weirdo but by nature a decent guy, had helped me fixed the computer at no charge. All I did was fed him with whatever stuff I cook. Lols!!! I did make an arrangement with him, should my friend not able to grab a cab, will it be alright for me to trouble him. It will be my last option though. He happily offered his help. Glad I did not have to trouble him, but good to know there's another good friend around when I'm in need of help.

Sometimes, it amazed me how people who share no blood ties could show much compassion, extending help well beyond their means. I consider myself lucky to have met many such people in my life.

'Help and you shall be helped' - I'm wondering if this applies in this world we now live. For there's many who would just take advantage of the given situation.

To be or not to be.

2010-11-03T08:35:00.003+08:00

When I first announced my separation to the family, I got mixed reactions from the clan. Some are glad all the high end drama will finally be put to an end, while others lecture me on assets acquiring I should be demanding from the ex. As Josh Billings said, 'Advice is like kissing: it costs nothing and is a pleasant thing to do'. So I stood there taking in all the absurdity. Believe it or not, some even suggested that I should stay married to him until I got my name on the house deed. Blerghhhhh!

I don't think after what I went through, I would be ready to talk property grabbing, when all I want to do is to go somewhere far away and start fresh. So I did not take any heed to those advice. I go about my life without under lying safety net. There wasn't even an agreement of how much alimony the ex should be paying me. I probably am 'stupid' in some people's eye. Just not in my nature to make it all about dollar and cents. But guess what? After so many years, I realised what initially started as something only a fool would have done, turns out to be okay.

Up to this date, the ex has never fail to give alimony. Yes, he did give me some grievance pertaining to some money matters, but things are starting to look much better these days.

Not too long ago, he mentioned about getting me and the kids a place. It's only the right thing to do, he said. I wonder if this has got to do with his latest wife demanding a house as settlement. Yupe...our friend is asking for a divorce but the wife would not have it unless all the demands are fulfilled. Well..thanks to her, he finally see the lesser evil :P

Too bad it took a greater devil for him to set things right. I guess everybody need a good lesson in order to be a better human being.

House or no, I am not that bothered. After all..I've been living in this pigeon hole and liking it just fine. But it does feel good that some of my faith paid back. Perhaps there's hope after all.

So...to be or not to be 'greedy'? I shall leave it to you guys to ponder.

Rich men, poor men.

2010-11-01T07:53:00.003+08:00

Most girls have their wedding day planned since they were 5. What sort of dress they'll be wearing? What kinda theme? What will their cute, adorable flower girl/girls be adorn with?

But the most important question will be, Who will I marry? Will he be rich, handsome, clever?

Of course every parents would want their daughter to be well looked after. They hope their daughter would land in the hands of a good husband and provider.

Here's the thing though. I was helping my sis over the weekend and came across not one but 2 men, who are in their late 50's. One uncle who works in the coffee shop ordered a few pieces of fried Chiky for his wife and kids. Apparently he love the ayam goreng berempah. Taste like satay, he told us. He then ordered a plate of nasi lemak for himself. When I told him the fried chicken is not ready, he told me the chicken were for his wife, not for him. So he ate his nasi lemak without his favourite chicken. I then question him about why none for him (even though I know how much he love the chicken), and his reply was 'only the best for his wife'. Aweeee...ain't that something? Here's this man who makes measly wages but puts his wife needs first before him. It's clear as day how much he love his wife. I know...we're just talking about fried chicken here, but it says a lot. The poor men don't need big diamond rings to profess his love, he only need simple, meaningful stuff.

Then, an Indian guy who works in the market came to pack several packets of nasi lemak for his family. 1 with extra rice. He told me the extra rice is for his wife. I jokingly teased him if he would still love his wife with all the extra rice added to her body. His short reply had me grin till my face hurt. "What's there not to love....? Fat or not, she's still my wife, in fact there's more of her to love."

I see more happy marriages in couples that have less in this world. More content faces and more affectionate displays on their daily habitual happenings. I remember going through a marriage where I have to give an account of every cents that I spent. I've seen the same scenario in my rich client's wives. They all make sure I issue receipts for every little thing I charged them. Talking from my own personal experience, that sucks ball. Plus, it made a real plunge to your self esteem.

The day their husbands gave them something expensive, is the day they have to investigate which guilt trip that present is paying for.

Faith

2010-10-25T17:42:00.004+08:00

Over the years, I've been questioning myself over this issue.

Brought up a Buddhist, and in a family that practices Taoism, I follow blindly what any good daughter would.

I preached the children on the existence of god.

That no bad deed will go unpunished, one way or another.

Of course I have my occasional doubt on GOD existence, but I hide it from the children because having some faith puts us in line.

It helps to distinguish between the good and bad.

It helps me to contain my evil and darkness.

Yes, there's so much darkness that it scares me just to think of the things I am capable doing.

So..I hold on to what little faith I can hold on to.

Recently, a friend of mine who I have not been in touch with for quite a number of years, wrote to me. To my surprise, he manage to secure a used computer from his work place and took the liberty of delivering it all the way here.

My sister drove me to see him. All the troubles for little ol' me.

I later learned from my friend that he recently lost his wife due to terminal illness last month.

In his time of sorrow, he could still lavish us with his generosity and compassion.

I was in awe at such display of benignity.

If you're reading this entry my friend.

Let it be known that you did not just merely brought that heavy box full of computer goodies,

but somewhere among those knick knacks, tuck away in the deepest corner is this FAITH.

How I wish there's something that I can do for you.

Even if it only means a tiny fraction, compared to what you had done for me and the children.

The Last Say.

2010-10-05T08:15:00.004+08:00

I just don't get it why some people perceive winning when they have their last say in matters. Don't they get it that some time, others allow it because everything seems to come out as blah..blah..blah...laa dee dahhh! What's the point really, having to argue to that?

Suffice to say, I have been in plentiful of arguments ( I know, I know...I'm a fighter cock..what can I say ), I most definitely qualifies for a Phd in that field.

My endless battles with the ex has provided me the skill on 'how to make your opponents turn purple blue, without as much as rolling your eye balls'. It used to be, I thought I had to deflect his every bantering with flow of expletives. A word for a word eh. Until one day...we got into an argument at an eatery. I was shooting words like M16. My kids were grinning, telling me " Mom, you are so mad you've turned purple." So this has got to stop I tell myself. Cause all that yelling did nothing to him and it almost pop my artery.

So I took another approach. In the next round of tongue war, I remained calm, oblivious to what's around me and walked away as if nothing happens. Boy did that irked him! Well..you want to have the last say, go ahead...I let you have all the conversation to yourself. Mwakakakakkaka!

Recently, I posted an entry from my blog to some local site. The All Malaysian Rejects seems to cause quite a stir. One particular lady was very much against me rooting for the outcast. She made some personal attack to some of the other bloggers and me of course. The thing is..I don't get what she's trying to tell me, all those long line of bombastic words just don't make any sense to me at all. It all appears like some kind of bullshit. Seriously.....I try to read her comments and at the end of it, I was still "What the fark is she trying to tell???" then I thought..what a waste of good money on her higher education when she can't make any sense. Sure her vocab is extensive, but what''s the point when people don't understand you. Or maybe it's just me who don't understand her.

Anyway...she seems quite happy at the end of it when she thought she had the last laugh HA HA HA!

But me and the dear was on bed giggling at the silliness of such foolish girl. Must thank her for providing great entertainment to us on such mundane, Monday morning. Bitter old divorcee indeed. I'm so bitter I got bile coming out of my ass hole. :P

Big Bully

2010-09-30T07:36:00.007+08:00

Recently, the man tities striked again. As much as I hate to place insignificant him in my blog space, I cannot defy this compulsion to rant about that man. Someone once told me that small dogs aren't as smart as BIG dogs. Due to their brain size apparently. Small dog = small brain = stupid. Wonder if the same rule applies to human? Anyway...I've decided that man tities definitely need a boob job. Bigger boobs to store more brain for him. I swear he's getting stupider by the minute.

Yesterday the guard was call on the carpet for allowing my client to drive through the main gate, even though it was pissing down. Man tities suggested in future, the children should be made to walk along the corridors right up to the main gate in the event of such happenings. FYI, there's only partial roof coverings on these 4' width corridors. He expects these kids to drag their bags along the narrow corridors in the freakin rain. Corridors that are cluttered with clothes hangers and towel racks.

Argghhhhhhhh! Just when I thought he couldn't be any more heartless. I find myself cursing at him. Cursing that the car park roof will one day collapse on his precious car. Come to think of it...most of the space are occupied by his family members, so..it would do no harm if the whole stretch of roof just rain down on their cars. Mwahahahhahahahahha!

He's such a bully. Thinking he could bully me into being nice to him. (I much rather go to HELL ) To me, bullies are just a bunch of insecure people who find this need to bully in order to elevate heir self esteem. In man tities case...prolly having a small dick. I wouldn't know eh..but I suspect having all that boobs are compensation for having small dick. Right, no?

Anywhoooo...I got FREE stickers for my client. Yayyyyyy! Thanks to Mr.Man Tities' incompetency, the management decides to award me with free stickers for my clients as to not encounter any more trouble from DUMB boobs.

Errrrmmmmmm...somehow..I don't think this will be the last battle with that stupid man. I'll cross that bridge when the time come. Hehhehehe! And as always..I will be using my brain instead of the twins to win that battle.

could do with one of these babes for my xmas pressie

The All Malaysian Rejects.

2010-09-15T06:55:00.010+08:00

Yesterday, for the first time in the history of 20 years teaching, I broke down in tears. I barely managed to stifle the pool of tears that were congregating at the edge of my lower eye lids, while rushing into the confines of my toilet. (my favourite place to cry till my heart content)

It all started with me checking on Danny's homework. He had for sometime struggled, trying to cope being in the best class. There's not a day in a week, whereby his mom would not receive complains from the teachers in regards to him not completing his homework.

On top of that, we get all the 'ms goodytwoshoes' and mr smartypants volunteering to bitch about Danny's inability to complete his task. Which I might add, none of them made an effort to offer some form of help to Danny. Obviously....they are more concern about elevating their ego , rather than helping a friend in need. This is what we call, helping a drowning dog drown.

Another student of mine was telling me that Danny isn't sure how many pages of Chinese homework should he complete. I questioned him on why was the pages not marked, it would be easier to do rather than to copy into his homework reminder book. Danny could not answer my question.

I repeatedly asked him, but the boy was tongue tied. I came to a point where I just want to beat the crap out of him. Frustrated that he would not do the simplest thing in order to stop all these complaining from his school teachers and so call 'superior friends'.

Finally, Danny spoke with tears in his eyes. No words mentioned but I could hear his anguish and pain that he's been holding inside him.

Me: What's wrong? How come you're the only one not able to know which homework to do? Where exactly are you sitting in the class room these days?

Danny: errrrrrrrrrrr....Emmmmmmmmmmm

Me: WHERE??`

Evelyn: Teacher!!!...He sits right behind, secluded from everyone else in the class.

Me: Huh? what do you mean?

Evelyn began to draw me a picture of the classroom , where a rectangle at the front portion of the classroom indicates the whole class and at the corner is this tiny dot, indicating where Danny sits. OMG, they alienated him. OMFG......no wonder he couldn't bring himself to tell me the placing of his seat.

Danny gulped down several tears before he finally came beside me and whisper to my ears.

Danny: I know why my class teacher put me there. It's because she doesn't want to see my face any more.

And Danny broke down into a steady flow of tears. I hugged him and assure him that will never happen in my class. I will always want to see that lovely face of his. I quickly excuse myself, bawling my eyes out, over the toilet sink. Not wanting Danny to see how upset I am over this matter. How could people be so cruel? I rather she cane him than use such action that caused emotional distress to this kid.

I understand about being the out cast

I understand what it's like to be the REJECTS.

So help me god, I will help this child find acceptance.

He was alienated for being naughty.

Perhaps she finds him challenging, hence she took the easiest way out.

Ignorance and egotism made her not wanting to find out about this kid uncommon behaviour.

That's not the worst part, she's the leader in that small classroom. Now, she has followers who will one day grow up teaching their children that the easiest way to handle someone different is banishment. What a grand contribution she's making to this society.

I've always kept my arms open for the so called rejects. What's not to like about the rejects? I buy clothes from reject shop all the time. I love those reject books I found in a quaint little bookshop up in KL. They cost so much less but bring the same amount of joy.

And somehow...I always find something to marvel at, a comforting notion in the so called reject people. They have these obscure qualities that need to be dug out before you find what a gem they can be.

On the road to happiness.

2010-09-08T07:03:00.006+08:00

I was just telling my sister this morning, how we, as a simple human being...do not require much to live happily on this earth. And late in the evening, a friend called to propose this huge, mega ass project. Frankly speaking, I am flattered BUT the very idea of leaving my so called quality life did not spark the interest to embark on such journey.

Fear is also a major contribution to my lack of enthusiasm. Funny how this large person is afraid of many a thing. I am terrified of disappointing my friend should I fcuk up the said project, afraid of all the changes that will take place should I have to move back to KL. (We all know how much I love changes blerghhhhh!)

It is of no frikin wonder I am not successful. Then again....it depends how does one defines success. Guess am just happy being this person that go unnoticed by others. In my pigeon hole in Sleepy Hollow with my two monster.

I like having time to scowl at the kids when they mess up. I like having the time to talk to mom whenever she find this urge to bitch about my grandma. Making all those kuehs to show dad I am not utterly useless. Being able to talk to the dear about the quirkiness of life and people.

But why do I find myself standing at a crossroad, questioning if I am making the right decision in turning down such great opportunity here?

I often said to myself, if I was able to go back in time, I would do right and not do half the things I did. I would make better decisions.

But is there really such thing as a better path, the right thing to do? Perhaps whatever path we took just lead us to different mold that would shape our lives.

The questions should be, are you happy now? Can you go to bed peacefully at night? Have you evolve into a better person? Have you done right by love ones?

So..what I'm trying to say is...the road to happiness is everywhere, it's up to you to accept that those dusty path can be one helluva FUN place to be when it rains. Think of all the slimy mud that you can slide into :D

The Kiasu's and the Kiasi's

2010-09-05T13:00:00.010+08:00

If there's anything that annoys me more than being constipated, is self centered people. Those 'kiasu', 'kiasi', takut mati, tak mo kalah bunch of assholes.

Lately, I've been holding my breath, careful not to singe some self centered morons that I happened to cross path with. (Trust me, it's not an easy task....especially for fiery ol' me.)

One of my students, let's refer to him as Danny boy, is having difficulties in coping with his homework. The boy is a hyper active child, major problem is concentrating on a task given especially when there's a roomful of people with wagging tongue. He lurvesssss the voices of his mates more than his teachers. Teachers keep complaining that he did not complete his homework. So they assigned a few students to be his class buddies. These class buddies are supposed to help him refresh his memories on which homework he's supposed to get done for that day.

So day one begin and we tried calling one of the class buddies. Silly girl seemed clueless. She spend a huge amount of time time listing out alphabets after alphabets for Danny to copy, for his writing chores. Not tolerating anymore nonsense, I took over the conversation and that's when the poor girl struck numb,( Seriously..how difficult is it for a primary 2 kid, to give me words required for the writing chores?) pass the phone to her mom and mommy dearest had to liaise with me. I apologized to the lady for having her afternoon tea interrupted. Next day, Danny came running to me, giving me a message from Ms Dumbbuthaughty, telling me we are not suppose to bother her ever again. WTH!!! Apparently they have no time to indulge in matters concerning others. Sure...who can blame them for having such petite size brain.

Day 2, we called another class buddies. This time, we got hold of a smart gal. She was able to furnish us with the necessary information in a short amount of time. As I do not converse in Mandarin, I made another student do the talking. She told me she can hear the gal's mom making a huge FUSS about the telephone conversation. We're talking about less than 5 minutes conversation here. Geeeez...whatta biatch!!

To some people, imparting knowledge are much frown upon. It's as if..every time you spend 5 minutes teaching others, your brain cells reduced by 30%. My observations tell me that every time a child teaches another child, it will make them understand even better, hence they get smarter. But god forbid these people should waste their precious time for the sake of helping others. Blerghhhhhh! If it's not the child, it's the parents. What's wrong with people these days???

This used to be my playground.

2010-08-31T15:21:00.009+08:00

Someone posted a video clip of this dude rapping over one racist headmistress. Was not aware about her existence as am living in a world where national news or newspaper cease to exist in my household. My source of what's happening would be my mom or some friends who'd want to make sure I am in touch with current issues. Pathetic? I just didn't want to waste my time watching or reading BIG fat lies on national media eh. Sorry..I got other better things to do.

I have for the longest time wanted to blog about my feelings towards my country and my people. Unfortunately, political issues have never been my penchant. Having said that...I do care about what's happening to the people though.

Watching the above mentioned video left me feeling sad. Sad that even an estimable figure such as a school principle could make such racist remarks to her students. Makes one wonder why or what makes her said what she said.

If parents are to be blamed for bad morals teaching in a family, then can we blame leaders of our country for having influential figures the likes of that principle for having horrible taste in public speaking? If not, then who can we blame for turning those people into monsters?

I remember having multi racial group of friends when I was young. I grew up in police quarters, therefore my neighbors and friends comprise mostly of Malays. We live in harmony and whatever differences we had, we left it at home, before we meet up at the playground.

13 years ago, I brought my 3 year old son to a public playground. A malay guy was accompanying his 2 children. His son wanted to go round and round the slide like little Mr America. Unfortunately, his plans was interrupted by my son who's moving at tortoise pace. Unable to push my son away because I was standing tall, scrutinizing them, the boy went over to his dad to complain. Thinking that I am some foreigner with pan asian looking toddler who could not comprehend the local language, that man retorted;

Boy : Min nak pegi laju laju, tapi budak tu lambat lah bah. (I want to go fast but that boy is so slow)

Dad : Tak pe lah. Nanti kita halau dia balik negeri dia ye. (never mind, we shall banish them to where they belong)

Deep in my heart, I wanted to tell that kid, if this country comprise of smart, intelligent leaders, the first thing they ought to banish is his dad. Dumbtwit!!!

This coming from a father of 2. I wonder what else he's been teaching the children. It made me realized....with more parents such as these, it is no wonder I don't see much multi racial community living in harmony anymore. Each have taught their children not to trust the others.

When my son was in primary 4, he attended a local school nearby. During one of the art class, his teacher(Malay) who had given art papers to almost everyone that had forgotten to bring theirs, gave my son a piece of paper accompanied by a very spiteful remark. The teacher mentioned that my son comes from a house full of 'bapak ayam' dan 'mak ayam'. (Bapak ayam = pimp, Mak ayam = madam) Of course my son's Bahasa Melayu was not very fluent then. One of his classmate explained to him what those words meant. It broke my son's spirit and he broke down in tears. I transfered him to another school in town after that appalling incident. I spoke to the headmaster regarding that matter, but no action was taken. Thanks to him, my son went to a better school. His friends consist of multi racial group. They excel in their studies and for the most part that I could remember, my son does not hate malays just because of one idiot who happened to be allowed to teach art.

Just a few days ago, I have this Chinese student telling me that she hate malays. When I asked her why did she hate malay people. Her answer was, her parents hate malays.

When are people going to realize there will always be rotten apples among the Ah Chong's, Ali's, Kumar's, etc.etc..They are after all human. There's bad people in any race, religion or country. How can you blame one race or one country for a few dickheads that walk among them.

If this country would like to see glimpse of what they glorified as onemalaysia, for starters, they ought to make sure, people who preach to little children are not a bigot themselves.

Smash your FACE!!!

2010-08-30T07:27:00.005+08:00

Went for Step up 3D last weekend with Caoilinn after great recommendation from the dear. Must say it was damn good. I was literally clapping my hands (and so did a few others) while Caoilinn just stood there aghast by my undemure composure :D (anything to bring shame to my girl eh)

The next day, dad sent us to Bkt Jalil, only we got lost and end up on our way to the airport, thanks to Malaysia's finest town planner. WTF!!!! Malaysia's road signage is the BEST in this whole goddamn world I tell ya!!! Our bus is at 3pm, 2.58pm and we are miles away from the bus station. Dad was panicking and to make himself feeling better, he mentioned that we're on 3.30 bus. Yeah right dad! Say that couple more times and maybe...just maybe my bus ticket could magically change from 3pm to 3.30. I wasn't angry at dad, I was super piss at the road signs. I am still super piss at how this country that I love so much has incompetent people to do most of the important jobs. Fcuk!!

So we finally arrived at the makeshift bus terminal and told dad not to worry, I'd make them ass hole put me on the next bus available. After explaining myself to the ticketing girl, she told me to try my luck and get on board the 4.30 bus.

Me: Don't you have to give me tickets for the 4.30 bus?

Ticket girl : Nah...you just ask the driver to let you get on board, they normally will let you. If they don't...then you go purchase the ticketslah. Cause this is actually your fault.

Me : WTH!!! Of course it's my fault (I shouldn't have trusted our road signs. Especially when they have a huge ass sign that says ' BAS EXPRESS ' pointing upwards instead of left where it supposed to be)

Dad called to check on me,

Dad : So..how? Did they give you another ticket?

Me (The professional liar) : Of course dad, they put me on the 4.30 bus. I told you they would, don't worry ok.

Dad : Ahhhh...that's good then.

Phewwww!!!!! That's dad taken care of. So we marched our asses to the ticket booth and purchased another set of tickets as I ain't taking any chances on the designated driver's goodwill. Nah uhhhh!!! What if he's in a crappy mood?

Finally arrived at our Taman late in the evening. Despite all the commotions, I was feeling alright. I was only in a shitty mood cause the slight detour made Dad a little jumpy. Me on the other hand, anticipated these bumps on the road all the time.

Hand in hands, walking towards our home, Caoilinn started talking about the movie we recently watched, AGAIN.

Caoilinn : Mommy , don't forget to download that song when we get back ok.

Me: Alrighty!! What's the title of the song again?

Caoilinn : Something about smashing the window.

Me: Ooooooh..sounds like something that I would do eh?

Caoilinn : Yeah!!! You would so do that. (giving me her widest grin)

Me: (burst into song) I smash your face through the windowwwwww...

It became flat like a pancake.....

I told ya not to mess with me....

But ya didn't take any heed...

I SMASHED YOUR FACE THROUGH THE WINDOW.....

Caoilinn : Mwahahahahhahahhahahaha! Mommy that's so funny..do it again! do it again!

Of course when I burst into that song, I haven't a clue what the proper lyrics is. All I remembered from the movie was the melody and it's got something to do with smashing some car window. Boy could I smash some people's face through to the window today!!! Heee heee!

Anyway..here's the original song and the proper lyrics :D

I bust the windows out your car
And no it didn't mend my broken heart
I'll probably always have these ugly scars
But right now I don't care about that part
I bust the windows out your car
After I saw you laying next to her
I didn't wanna but I took my turn
I'm glad I did it cuz you had to learn

I must admit it helped a little bit
To think of how you'd feel when you saw it
I didn't know that I had that much strength
But I'm glad you'll see what happens when
You see you can't just play with people's feelings
Tell them you love them and don't mean it
You'll probably say that it was juvenile
But I think that I deserve to smile

I bust the windows out your car
You know I did it cause I left my mark
Wrote my initials with a crow bar
And then I drove off into the dark
I bust the windows out your car
You should feel lucky that that's all I did
After five whole years of this bullshit
Gave you all of me and you played with it

I must admit it helped a little bit
To think of how you'd feel when you saw it
I didn't know that I had that much strength
But I'm glad you'll see what happens when
You see you can't just play with people's feelings
Tell them you love them and don't mean it
You'll probably say that it was juvenile
But I think that I deserve to smile

I bust the windows out your car
But it don't compare to my broken heart
You could never feel how I felt that day
Until that happens baby you don't know pain
Yea, I did it, you should know it
I ain't sorry, you deserved it
After what you did you to me
you deserved it
I ain't sorry, no
You broke my heart, so I broke your car
You caused me pain, so I did the same
Even though what you to me was did was much worse
I had to do something to make you hurt, yea
Oh, but why am I still crying
Why am I the one whose still crying
Oh, oh, you really hurt me baby
You really, you really hurt me babe

I bust the windows out your car

A pot calling a kettle black.

2010-08-23T12:56:00.005+08:00

Someone told me a funny story recently. It happened not too long ago at some school gathering.

The thing about school gathering is, most of us go to these things, hoping that we would amaze our mates with our lifetime achievements. Be it our look or career.

On most of us, gravity would have taken it's toll. There are certain parts of the body that are not as perky as before. And icing spillage or love handles appear from all the inappropriate places. So...it's expected that we not look the same as 20 years ago.

What happen was...this person showed up at the gathering claiming there's nothing much to look at but a bunch of 'beef jerky' when she expecting to feast her eyes on veal. How disappointing!!!

Little did she know, those beef jerky were wondering who is this lost "Auntie" that turned up at their gathering.

:D Crack me up, these so called delusional people!!!

What's wrong with being a little more mature and older?

and GOD say, let there be wings.

2010-08-10T07:19:00.003+08:00

My mom and sisters are planning for a trip to a neigbouring country this coming holidays. Since I'm sort of stuck here in sleepy hollow, sis asked me if I'm interested to operate her eatery while she's away.

My only problem is transportation. I don't drive and sure as hell don't cycle either. So....going there would mean taking a cab due to bulky items or I would have preferred the public bus. And that would have been pointless because cab fare would slashed the profit made by quarter at least.

Sis : Just get someone to drive you there.

Me: Huh? You mean trouble people at 6 in the morning just so I can play SHOP on their precious weekend.

Sis : Why not?

Me: Nah...I think I have better chance at asking god for a good pair of wings.

Snap Snap!

2010-08-09T07:41:00.007+08:00

Heard about one photo studio in Kuching, Sarawak that reject (Well they don't actually reject you straight face, but will tell you they are fully booked blah! blah! blah!) their clients based on their size and look. Whatta dinghole!!! (fyi, a dinghole is the motherload of all asshole :P). To reject people because they are ugly or fat is pure bitchiness. That photographer must have let it all gone to his head. Karma will strike back. Let's see how he handles it when people reject him because of this ugly mutt.

I thought what makes a good photographer, is one that can bring out the best out of their clients. If your subjects are already in good shape and look, then there's not much talent needed to apply to your subject? Bah!!

For moi, a damn good photographer is that fella who can make me look good. Bring out the natural beauty in me. (Basically shed 50 pounds of me.) Mwahahahahahhaha! See....that would be a challenge, but I've seen some people who's done it. Not many..but some did :D

I see beauty in wrinkles and smudges.

I see beauty in my old crumpled pages.

Set me down to memory lane,

where the old beating heart remains,

true to what nature has to offer,

a borrowed host on this god forsaking land.

Exhibit 'A' :D, my cute grandma

Siblings Love.

2010-08-03T06:28:00.009+08:00

Made a quick call to the dear yesterday since his birthday is approaching. It turns out to be quite an emotional one for me instead.(NO he's not dumping me!)

He was relating his interview/interrogation on his niece and nephews. The three bandits were put in the witness stand. None plead guilty.

Prior to this, the 2 older siblings witnessed their youngest brother, fell inside grandpa's fish pond. They were crying and screaming when they saw little brother turned pale, surrounded by those golden, fingers nibbling koi. The eldest boy managed to grab his brother and pulled him aside. Apparently, the victim was dumbstruck, quiet as a mouse while his brother and sister were wailing, shitting themselves to death over his drowning.

I could understand the screaming, but why did a six year old boy and a four year old girl cried their hearts out when their three year old baby brother fell inside a fish pond?

That my friend, is what we call siblings love. :D

No matter how much we scratched, punched, kicked or whatever the hell we do to each other, can't really banish that love we have for our siblings.

There was one point in my life when I was so exasperated with dad, almost broke ties with him. Within the few minutes I was losing my head, dad's siblings started calling me. I could tell how worried they were over consequences my action plays on their brother. Lets just say there were tears involved, and it ain't just mine. It made me feel really rotten, being the daughter who almost severe her ties with her dad. Then again, can't help it that I'm such the drama queen. Dang!

Anywhoooo, the dear story moved me to tears because it made me realized such love between siblings occurred from very early stages of life. Never knew that you see, I was never put to a test like they were. But my guess would be, I'd be in one hell of a mess too.

One of those things that would put me in a foul mood is when something my siblings DID, would DO to me or NOT DO for me. They made greater impacts because of this inconspicuous love we share.

Wonder if what mummy serve us when we were kidlings had anything to do with it? My mom finally revealed to us that she collected our belly buttons, boiled in green beans, make dessert out of it and we whack them without any knowledge of it. According to her, it would make the ties between us siblings strong. Eeeeyeeewwwww! Well it's either that or the cow's vagina. Double EEEYEWWWWWWW!

Try a little Kindness

2010-07-29T09:29:00.004+08:00

Did you know that an awful BAD day can overturn by just one teenie weenie act of kindness?Yupe...had that happened to me on several occasions.

My dad has been this person who reminds me of this. He loves making people happy. Sometimes we'd come across people selling knick knacks while we're having meal, someone pops out start selling tooth brush and what not, dad would buy from them even though the cupboards are actually quite full of dental supplies. Mom would be rolling her eyes, and he would simply say, "Make people happy, one day you might just need that yourself."

That's dad alright. He taught us to be kind and honest at whatever expense that might cost us. Recently, over cups of coffee, we were suggesting several menu ideas for my sister's eatery. As usual, I would wind him up, telling my sister not to bother what her neighboring stalls might say, just sell those damn 'mee siam' .

Mee Siam now available at 'Lan Jie Chicken Rice Shop' - Taman Merdeka, Melaka.

Then dad calmly replied "You can't do that, you might affect people's business, others need to find their source of income too." "To hell with them!!" I cheekily declared. FYI, my sister decided to sell them 'mee siam' on every Tuesday,Thrusday and weekends. Well... that's what she agreed to compromise on.

Dad might not set up prodigious trust funds for us, but he gave us great exemplary on being kind. That's good enough for me. Lord knows I need it, what with all the BAD influence I've been getting from peeps around me :P

Now me gotta go and do that teenie, weenie act of kindness for the kiddos- cook them lunch!!! (Hey! A good meal does wonders for a person's mood wokay. I sure am in a good mood after having yummy food :D )

GAMES we pway.

2010-07-27T18:52:00.006+08:00

I did not realize that the dear and me are thrill seekers. In fact, we are such the adrenalin junkie, that blasting and blowin people off, became our favorite pastime. Hence why I've been telling myself to take it easy these days. As much as I looooove blasting people off, I am afraid, one of these days, karma might strike back

Me : You're a bad, bad influence on me!

Dear : What??? Don't blame me for doing my civic duty.

Me : You call walking around with time bomb strapped on your body a civic duty?

Dear : Well...those people deserve what they get. They talk diarrhea all the time.

Me : I know....and we can't help ourlittleselves. Geeeez! But am tired of upholding the law. Let the morons be morons. All these blasting is bad for my karma.

Dear : Since when you became such the holy ones??

Me : Since I see more people dropping dead.

Dear : Bah! Just be yourself. You do know that I've got you registered at HELLIDAY INN right? Your room's just next to mine.

Me : There isn't a way outta this, is there?

Dear : Am afraid not my dear.

This is what happen, when you let people pushed and poked you around. As a child, I was this timid, good little girl, low self esteem and very frightened. Oppressed by the society, given that she's not the ideal size for a girl her age.

Then she change her looks, to try to fit in, but there's always more to change and more people to please.

During that process somehow, she learned to be gutsy. All those years of oppression finally came out. Like a demon who'd been let loose out of hell, the monster march forwards and never looked back.

She acts like she's Joan of Arc, trying to save all those little people who got bullied by the big shark.

But now...I don't want to be the bad guys no more. But he reckons once a monster, always a monster. How?? How??

Shhhhhhh! Courts In Order.

2010-07-10T22:15:00.002+08:00

And so the dear admitted to me that he's very judgmental. One false move when he first laid eyes on you and he'll sign you off. Here's the thing that I don't get though, how did we ever became the best of bud? Cause I almost never leave good first impression. Guess his radar's pretty loopie :P

I think we all tend to judge whether we realized it or not. I judge a plenty myself. But am trying to tell myself not to get carried away. And there's plenty of time when I've been proven wrong. Caught me off guard but I usually admits my own mistake and try to be more open minded.

We tend to see what we want to see and hear what we want to hear.

An old friend called me last night. We were catching up on old times and briefing on current career status. I must say I am somewhat envious of his long list of achievements. Seems to have it all, happy family, good source of income yet still got his feet placed firmly to the ground. Am not saying I hate my life. Just that his seems more polished while mine is all rough around the edges. Heck..I should be grateful, rough is still okay compared to some people whose life blown to smiterin eh!

Was offered a computer as a gift. (He wanted to get one for my son but since that dude already bought himself one, mommy dearest here could do with one of her own, lols!) Aweeeee! .....How nice. If only this razor blade isn't rusty . Am afraid this gold digger is a bit out of practice. I ain't quite sure how to accept expensive gifts. Especially when I am paranoid about having to exchange my soul (not gonna mention my body cause we all know that ain't conceivable mwahahahahha!) for those prezzie. DAMN those conscience!!!!!

So this friend of mine that came from the triad of what we would refer to as the "Ah Beng" are quite the entrepreneur these days. Attending Black Tie soiree and chatting with the big boys of business world. Errmmmm!.....To be honest, I never would imagine him being able to mingle with the sorts of that. I could envision him being the TOP man in a triad though :D

He proves me wrong. Well..good for him. I like it when people prove me wrong. It made life more interesting and less predictable.

BIG plans.

2010-07-07T07:44:00.012+08:00

I've often wonders what plans the BIG guy had stored for me, and for others too if I might add. Recent catastrophe that befall on my friend, made me wonder even more.

Met my friend while I was working in Singapore during those in between jobs, figuring myself out, what I wanna be, who I wanna be...phase. It was my first time out of my comfort zone. Away from home, all terrified of what the world has to offer me. Being homesick and miserable (this surprise me cause I never figure myself to be the sort that's clingy to the family person but I am eh!), I found comfort in a bunch of Malaysians who like me, came out of their nutshell to seek opportunities in the Lion city.

Should I ever suffer from dementia in future, East Coast Park will always be the one place I could recall of my journey in Lion City. It reign a special placing in this old heart of mine mainly because it's the one place that hold many sweet memories for me. Every alternate Sunday, we would enjoy the same 'off day'. On one of those off days, we took a trip to East Coast Park. It was planned by the dear. He had it all figured out. They rented bicycles and this monkey here is the only one who doesn't know how to ride one :( So the dear made a big fuss about having to drag me in a two seater bike. It was humiliating and wonderful at the same time. Wonderful because I get to be chauffeured like the Queen of England, humiliating because halfway down the road, the dear gave up on me. Said something about me weighing a ton, plus I was not paddling. Hey! It ain't my fault if my legs are too long to paddle those short bike. I could swear those bike are meant for Bozo the clown.

Geeez! What am I suppose to do when there's still a long way more to go? Beg of course. I went from one dude to another, begging them to take the 2 seater bike and me for I could not take anymore trashing from the dear. Guess who came to my rescue? Of course the Knight in the shining Armour. My good friend there cycled me for the rest of the journey. I noticed his vein almost pops out as we made it up the hill slope. Youchie Gucci! And yet, he cycled with a huge smile on his face and made small talk to me so I wouldn't feel awkward. I never did thanked him enough for getting me out of that skit.

We made another trip to East Coast Park, no bike entourage this time :D. I think we all agreed that I could seriously pose a threat to someone's health. Nope..not gonna risk popping somebody vein out this time.
It was the day after my 21st birthday, the dear planned and executed the big bash. The celebration over flowed till the next day and we headed to East Coast Park.

Of course the sole purpose of the dear bringing me to this place was to have my stomach's content inside out. (he just got to torture me for the sake completing the celebration with a panache)

First stop was the "VIKING"

The boys were literally in Lamaze class. :D The look on each of their faces was priceless. So much for "Are you girls gonna scream?" shit. We girls screamed alright!!! But at least we did not pee in our pants. So after the ride, I was a little green and had to excuse myself from the group to finish an unfinished business.(But it was worth the guilt trip that impounded on the dear)

I still remember the walks we had to KFC whenever it's pay day. Treats for our little self :P

So, that's the story of a group of people, who at one time were like a family to me. A few of us still keep in touch. I've not seen the Knight in Shinning Armour for ages. Recently heard he's been battling wife's leukemia since 2009. That just made my spirit took a plunge down the pit. I ain't sure what kind of Big Plans the BIG guy had planned for you my friend, but let's hope he knows what he's doing. Someone as wonderful as you, deserve happy endings. On a good note, the dear mentioned that your wife is very lucky to have someone as special as you, to be there by her side in times of hardship.

Contradictions can be so....NOT KEWL!!!

2010-07-02T06:05:00.011+08:00

I came across several idiots for the past several weeks, who contradicts whatever crap they project from their mouth. Enough to make me blog about it. (Since I am somehow irk by the eeetie beeetie teeniest things, you'd probably guessed, ball park figure we're talkin about here is somewhat between 1 to 4. :D )

Am not gonna paint the scenario cause it's gonna be frikin 'bulls eye' as to who I am ~~bitching~~ mentioning , so am just gonna paint a slightly blur picture.

Uno, you get these 'health freaks' people who go on and on about salt is bad, sugar is bad, coconut is bad, yada yada yada! ....and when you turned your back on them, they are consuming alcohol by the gallons.

WTF is that all about???? The pinnacle of it all is when an idiot spat out my momma's precious 'acar ikan masin' on the count those little devil's salty. Duh!!! Why dayya think it's called 'salted fish pickle' for? Frikin morons! Saying out loud about health nutrition does not make you a healthy person wokay. Not when I know you take a little bit of this and that on the side. It just qualifies you as 'entry level' of dopes, morons and 'A' hole in my list.

Dos, people who say they can't eat stuff cause they are coughing and next nanoseconds, pulls out a tub of mango sorbet outta their freezer and whacking it by the spoonfuls.

If my memory serves right, my momma used to tell me....2 things that you should avoid when you're coughing; icy things and MANGO. And mango sorbet has both characteristic in them. Yupe...that's what my momma, the UNcertified doctor said. But she's a smart woman, so I trust her.

Tres, people who implicates themselves in adultery and branding it as CHARITY. Charity as in donating sexual favours for those in need of such services. Lols!!! What friking century does this ape thinks he's in? Common, after 3 fail marriages and he's still able to dupe his brain into inferring that all his doings are nothing but of noble intentions. At least have the decency to stand up and admit 'Hey, I'm a horny old goat!!' Don't strut around and preach to me like Father Ralph de Bricassart, you'd give Christianity a BAD name dude.

Cuatro, mothers who thinks they are such the 'Ideal Mom'. Oh please! Who you're trying to kid here? If you're such a good mother, you wouldn't be buying lunches in tiffin carrier. At least I cook home made meals for my kids. I gave up my 'social life'. Now that's got to worth at least something. :D

Alone.

2010-06-29T18:50:00.005+08:00

Mom and dad was here last weekend. Watching dad with the gurlz

give me this warm feeling at the pit of my belly. He's been a doting father/grandfather for as long as I can remember. While he was sleeping (or trying to get some sleep) the gurlz were potting about in the room, giving their 'little ponies' new make over. Belting out numerous Gaga's numbers, while brushing and twisting their ponies' hair. Mom was beside him, smiling as she watched her two granddaughters' antic. Now ladies and gentlemen, that's what we call a 'Kodak Moment'.

Let's hope I get to experience Kodak Moments such as these, when I'm all wrinkly and bendy. When you are young and robust, it ain't a bother to be alone. In fact, if you're anything like me, you'll dance to your joy when people finally leave you be, all by yourself.

But escalation of one's age, will necessitate the sense of belonging, and the need to be constantly around people. Loneliness became one greatest fear.

So this topic came up when I was talking to someone recently. As much as he hates to admit it, he can't really stand living alone, hence the contradictive acceptance of invites from certain people who he can't bare to tolerate at times. All because he couldn't stand being alone.

Yeah, sometimes we do things we hate doing because having to do the alternative is simply unthinkable.

Don't you just hate yourself having to do just that?

So peeps, morale of the story is......even though it's cool to be the mysterious 'Lone Ranger' now...sooner or later, whether you like it or not, you might not want to be all alone after all. So better buck up and start being nice to people. (This applies to moi especially)

:( Sighhhhhh...does this mean I have to start baking cookies and make the little people happy?

Goth, gunk and all that spunk.

2010-06-18T21:00:00.030+08:00

Day 3

So after the Gaga session with the dude & dudettes, we were sort of stuck with Bad Romance playing in our head till the next morning. (It was close to afternoon actually..I know..I'm such the matherfrucking lazyass here)

Woke up with this alarm in my head.
Project time!!!!
Talked to the dear on how we should spend the day, ermm...shouldn't have wasted my breath cos he's been plotting the same game actually.
So... we headed to Daiso in IMM, where we filled our little baskets with props for the photo shoot.

The dear bought these for me. Ain't he sweet?

We made a little stop where the dear introduced us to Hokkaido ice cream. Black sesame......Yummmmy!

Caoilinn still could not get over how something so awful looking, taste so frikin goooood. I have long learned about the deceptiveness of good looking object lols ; )

By the time we end our shopping escapade, our hips felt like they no longer attached to our body. My daughter was close to the point of flagging a car and disown her mommy.

Day 4

Started the day with putting props together. Putting on fake nails is so fun. It's a pity I can't wear them all the time, I like the slutiness that it brought in me.

Slutfest Day lols!!!

We did one another s make ups. He is such a sport. Not only he indulge me in my sick, tormented games, he participated with such gusto. He let me paint his face, do his eye make up....(basically making a fool out of him :D). I spent most of the time lying on the floor, laughing so hard, watching him trying to be goth. (Still laughing mad while editing the pictures now)

Lesson learned today, it don't matter that I was such the klutz at being Goth Chic,
I had FUN :D That's all that matters.

Caoilinn on the other hand, is a natural.

Day 5

It's 2am and just got back from supper session with the dear. He came back earlier with that forlorn look on his face.

Dear : Let's go out and eat.

Me: Are u kidding me? You just came back from dinner with your friends.

Dear : Yeah, but all I ate was this elf's portion pizza. You know I wasn't in the mood to go out.
Blah...blah...blah.....blah....I HATE HAVING TO WORK TOMORROW!!!!!

See...the dear goes through this routine every time when I'm about to head back home. Some how, he always made me feel like I'm the only person he enjoy spending time with. (I don't blardy care if anyone thinks I'm 'syiok sendiri', but that's the vibe I'm getting here. So..thank you dear, for making me feel this way muakkkssssss :D and if you dare to say otherwise, I'll ruin your life every chance I got.)

Woke up at 7.30am, damn!!!!! (that's early for my holiday mode). Watch a bit of Cougar Town to amuse myself. By noon, Boonee was up, she took Caoilinn to have some fun at the arcade while I stayed back to watch the dear zooming in and out, sorting his work stuff. Always the last minute guy, he made me giddy watching him unscramble a load full of paperwork.

Finally at 4pm he was done and took me out for one last bite of

Bak Chor Mee.....yupe..me & Caoilinn fell in love with this dish. But somehow...them noodles did not taste so great when you're about to part with one another. The dear reckons this is due to our emotional state of mind at time of feeding. :( Even my favorite dessert, iced longan tasted so..so only. I hate this part of the trip most. Watching him all edgy and I'm like super chirpy trying to somehow make the parting not so horrible. It don't work...deep down I feel so yucky, wished I hadn't had that meal now.

Anyway...am back home now. These are some of the work we produce during our playtime. Ermmm...I am definitely in the category of 'seksa' not 'seksi' (seksa= torture)

Rosy Cheeks & Giddy Busrides

2010-06-16T09:47:00.012+08:00

I was in (Lion city) spending my holidays among good friends and relatives. Having spent several days with my uncle's family and playing with their witty, amazingly smart but slightly psychopath dog, my uncle drove me all the way to the airport to meet the love of my life.

I know...I am spoilt rotten here. Being driven everywhere and more pampering awaiting.

The dear took us to this spa thingy, hot bed therapy that supposed to get rid of all your toxins from your body. Caoilinn was all rosy cheek and I feel like a well done rump of pork, just stick an apple in me and I am all ready to be served :P

For the first time, my skin actually feels like the back of a baby's bottom again. Whoa!!!! Now I know why people pay so much for this stuff.( It was complimentary for the both of us first timers though). The dear one was so flippin happy about that. He's in his element when people treats us nice, which happens a lot when he's around.

Then we went for some Japanese food. Noticed the daughter went for cheapest main course, good ol' plain Udon. She seems to be keeping a tight reign over my purse string off late. Which is a good thing...having branded 'gold diggers' can placed such effects on you, I guess.

All in all we had a fun day, but I hate the bus rides in S'pore. They made me nausea. Perhaps I am more accustomed to old fashioned bus back home. Where you get open windows with half the window pane about to fall off, crappy old vinyl seats that's full of graffiti and rude conductors :D

Day 2

We went karaoke at Downtown East. Had a blast belting out Lady Gaga's bad romance. It's a shame I left my pointy bra and beaded thongs back home, or I would have pulled a great Gaga's parody.(Yeah right!)

The Lady is a Tramp.

2010-06-04T06:31:00.011+08:00

As a creature of habit, I stick myself to routines and plans. Of course this is largely due to my insufficient memory bank. A slight detour in the course of my so called wonderful life, and I'll be forgetting to do this and that. So, don't blame me if I'm some what irritated if you go whoopie doodahying my plans.

My son noticed my foul mood over the recent change of holidays plan. To my surprise, he came out with this utter rubbish;

Boo : I knowlah mommy, you're upset you could not extend your stay there not because of the event cancellation. You have ulterior motives right???

Me : WTF!!! And what could those motives be, pray tell?

Boo : (Sniggering) you know.

Me : What???? I do not know. Common, stop wastin my time and tell me.

Boo : Errrrrr.....you know lah. It's alright mom, I understand.

Me : Ohhhh..you think I want to prolong my stay there so I could meet up with men don't you?

The son had gone absolutely quiet, as his answer could not be more wrong than what I predicted.

Me : Thank you for having such faith in your mother son. You see...just like most people, you think you know me.

Boo : Yeah..we do know you mom.

Me : That's what you think, when in actual fact, you know shit about me. You know fcking shit about me. That is why..YOUs lot would never get me. Cause you all think you know me, but you don't. FULL STOP!

Son realises that he had just piss off the 'uselessmadcow' and step away from the 'Plaza de Toros'.

I wonder where my son would get such an idea that his mother is a tramp? I took a closer look at myself and I wonder what made him think, I would be so desired by men. Unbelievable. Even when I practically had no life, people think I am doing the nasties.

FYI...I could not accept invitations from close friends, to spend the night at their place cos my parents feel it's a ridiculous thing to do, when I've got their place to crash. I can't party out late without having to face dad's sulking face. Honestly...I am like THE 41 year old virgin. (or more likely..I am treated like one)

Perhaps people do not want me to be involved in a relationship because at this moment, I am like this person who has no life and a perfect candidate to be doing the 'odd jobs'.

Need a babysitter - let's dump it at her house.
Need a party planner - she got loads of idea.
Need a shit cleaner - she's like a PHD holder in that department.

But what happens when the good times arrive. They skipped merrily away, spending their precious time with their love ones, celebrating BIG occasions. Did they once think about me, who spends the night bawling her eyes out, when an aunt unfortunately called on New Year's eve, to remind myself that I am all alone too.

Bummer!!!!

Suddenly, I have this strong urge to go on a hunting spree. Let's get slutty, trampy or whatever.
I don't want to be the good ol' reliable bystander. This lady wants to be a tramp.

Food for thoughts.

2010-06-03T11:23:00.001+08:00

I just noticed that the way I handle most stuff are through gastronomical exercises.

I like you, I will cook something for you.
I hate you, I will cook something to tempt you.
I wanna punish you...I will lure you into the kitchen, then placed laser sensors right across the entrance.

So...my world kinda evolve around FOOD.
So what? Sue me.

For the past couple of weeks, I've made some vegetarian dish for Ms. Meryl. Felt sorry watching her eat nasi lemak with soya sauce and cut cili padi. Nuh uh! That is no way to be eating nasi lemak at all. So I made her tofu sambal and vegetarian asam pedas. Watching her enjoy her meal was rewarding enough for the effort made. On the plus point, I even had a sifu monk came by once, when I had prepared vegetarian asam pedas, cooked with mock fish for Ms. Meryl. He came from India, brought here by Ms. Meryl's family to perform a wedding of their relative. So, I offered him to try my humble dish.

Apparently, I should be honored if the sifu was to accept my offerings. He finished his meal and compliment me on a job well done. (According to those people, I had just performed a high placing on the chart of 'good deeds') Hell..yeah!!! I needed that I thought. At the rate that I'm going...doing some form of good deeds would probably save a little portion of my ass before it gets thrown to hell. :P

But last weekend, Ms. Meryl made one of her clan specialty "Lui Char". Oh my....it was frikin delicious and did I forget to mention, healthy as well. My momma was around and helped Ms.Meryl to sliced the greens. I think preparing food in a group, is such a good way to bond with each other. Always have a good time when I'm doing these sort of things.

The Lion who ate his own Balls

2010-06-02T06:09:00.012+08:00

Yesterday....wasn't a good day for me. Woke up with a very vengeful mindset. Was planning on stuff to cook to teach my son the lesson he well deserved.

Let's rewind a bit and watch what happen yesterday;

My son called me a ' USELESS COW' last night for not taking his dog for walkies. These days...the kids got their tongue wagging worse than a loose cannon. So I decided to give him a taste of his own medicine. Yupe..I am a very 'spiteful' mother, who uses her cooking to uphold the law & order in her household.

This useless cow prepared his favorite dishes for lunch. Here they are;

both the children love this ball thingy

ma sista cooked this.

Very mouth watering isn't it?????? But guess who is not invited for lunch today? Yupe....the COCKY SON!!!!!

His other sibling got my blood temperature rising to a boiling point as well. Flung her BM paper II. WTH....how can a child of mine flung BM paper??? Since she had not mentioned what a useless cow I am, I shall spare her and let her enjoy the 'revengeful meal for today. However....I feel like canceling all her holiday trips. She was so looking forward to go back to my momma place, with the new puppy there and all that. Perhaps this will be a lesson that she badly needed.
Sighhhhh...kids!!!!

That's what happened yesterday. The son was a little docile after he was made to beg for his meal. Yupe...told him he can fix his own lunch since I am such the useless cow, and that boy gave me his sheepish grin and change his attitude towards me. He did blame his sista though for flunking her BM.

Boo : What the hell did you do Caoilinn? Mommy was still talking to me last night before I went to bed. Now She's like a mad cow.

Caoilinn : I flung my BM!!! She's super pissed I tell you! You better not step on her tail anymore.

Some times it does not pay to be SMART, cause smart got this twin brother named COCKY. This is not the first time my son had hurled hurtful words to me. Probably watching his dad calling the women, cows and 'donkey' got something to do with his inflated cockiness. As usual, after a few doses of 'humble pie' that boy behaved himself, that is until amnesia strikes again.

I would so hate it if my son were to grew up being the typical MCP (Male Chauvinist Pig). Most women are smart actually, it's just that they are govern by this thing call 'emotion'. But..any men who thinks they could outsmart the women in their life, especially their mommies. Hah! I have news for them....they better be watchin their back lols!!!. We are crafty specimen.

Yeah....this momma has had it up to here. I need a break man. And even that is gonna cost me a bomb. People can't help me take care of the dog, nobody wants to babysit my kids. Even bringing the dog to the 'dog hotel' is making someone tired before she even perform the favor. My ex husband cannot confirm when he'll be sending or taking the children.

It's like I have to be there for everyone BUT no one is willing to be there for me. Fcuking charming!!!!

Perhaps I ought to teach all those people a lesson. Just like what I did to Boo. Made him eat his own ball, practically. (A Leo who had to beg to eat lionhead, get it? :P )

Mail Order Bride

2010-05-24T21:47:00.012+08:00

Money makes the world go round. Money can also buys you one helluva 'elevated self esteem'.

There seems to be some kinda fad these days with mail orders bride. Hence you see many crumpled, balding, Smeagol looking dudes strutting around with spring chicken tucked in their arms. Hey, who am I to judge right? Not exactly Miss World protege here myself, but at least I don't strut around with that smirk on my face.

There were a handful that frequent the 'nasi lemak hut', so I get all sorts of insights of these 'match made in Casino'. Pun intended there. It's a true 'throw the dice' situation. You pay so much money for these cuties, but no guarantees they'll stick around after they suck you dry. Of course not all are gold diggers, there's a few who are hardworking and made the money spent worthy. (Geeeez ! I sound like the butcherette at meat market, yucks)

Then there's this dude who rejected his purchase after spending a month with her. WTF!!! Didn't know mail order bride agencies accept goods returned. They might as well do the 'sublet' and change the whole operation to "HO house". Why sacrilege the terms, marriage??? As if we all need more reason not to go into the "M" thingy. Apparently, this is his second time. Had major arguments with the first wife and they split up. The second wife is very naive and docile looking, unlike the first wife who is sexy as hell. Bah!!! He probably decides the second one did not spice things up a notch in bed, so... bring back the hell cat, that's all he needs for a good marriage to last. I saw the first wife sashaying her tooshie in the 'hut' the other day. Well I don't blame the idiot for wanting her back. Only problem is...I don't think she wants him back. What with the 'thong' showing off and all that, she got plenty of barracudas to catch. He was just a stepping stone for her. Her gateway out of slumism.

Then there's a bunch of them complaining about their 'mail order bride' conning them by fleeing to their point of origin and never to return back. Bah!!!! Who are these idiots trying to kid here??? Have they not take a good look at themselves??? Did they really think RM20,000 can buy them a wife who will love them, cook for them, (this is the best part...) make love to them as if she truly loves them? Generally...I think, you get what you pay for. For 20K, I don't think you can even fool yourself into believing you're gonna get all that.

Then there are some who complain about their bride keep asking money to send home. The slightest head ache, mother in law would call their daughters for a trip to the doctors. No second guess who will bear the cost of house renovations and introductions to proper lavatory.

Morale of the story is...when are human beings going to learn, nothing comes cheap?

Filial Duty

2010-05-24T06:31:00.009+08:00

As a child with capable parents, I am blessed with comfortable life, good food on the table, pretty clothes to wear and roof over my head. But I was never the filial child to them.

I grew up abusing what good my parents had provided me, and I was set on rocking the world. So...was my dream.

But in life, things never actually go the way we want them to be. God has this wicked sense of humor, and we are the source of his joke. I am glad things happened, the way they happened for me. For I would not have been who I am today, if it weren't for those WAKE UP calls.

Today, I want to YELL about filial duty because, I've seen more than one occasion where the younger generations are getting more and more out of hands.

Maybe because the old folks do not look like old folks 30 years ago. Just look at all the HOT grandma & grandpa walking about in shorts and playing facebook. They are very hip these days I admit, but...bottom line is, they aged, and one day will no longer occupy this earth. And what's worse is....people dropped dead so fast these days...there's no warning or time for catching up once you realized your parents won't be around much longer.

I implore to everyone, take a good look around you, cherish the people who worries about you from the time you were nothing but a mere fetus. As a child, we knew nothing of their apprehension after apprehensions. We knew nothing of their heartaches and tears. What we do know is, they will give the best of everything to us. All laid out, waiting to be consume. I admit, I am too, guilty as charge. Whenever I go back to my parents' place, I unload all my responsibilities as a parent in a corner. This is my parents' place, I am the spoil rotten brat here. Mummy will crack her head to think what to cook for us. Dad will scurry to super marts and fill the freezer with stuff for the grandchildren. And I....I don't have to be mommy, there's somebody else to nag and uphold the law. Unless you've been a parent, you have NO IDEA what a relief that is. To be able to be a child once more, without this heavy thing called RESPONSIBILITIES, hanging over your head, all the blardy time. In their house, I AM THE CHILD!!!!! I get to be spoiled by them.

I see how some old folks are so proud of their children.They'll talked 24/7 of nothing else but their over well to do offspring. Each one bragging over who has better earning kids. Here's what I don't get. The kids are doing super well, they live away from the parents (not too sure if it's entirely to their own choice), joined every exclusive clubs, gym and what not. Living in posh apartments, leading the life of rich and famous. Adorned themselves with the finest garments that money can buy, BUT what about the folks back home. The one that's bragging about their accomplishment but reap nothing but a mere superficial tales to brag about. The one that had to practically beg the children to send them money. Sure...they are 'kampung' people and might not need much to spend, but the village people do not live on sunshine and raindrops U know!!!. Try to imagine yourself having to ask money from your children one day, how humiliating is that!!!! If they are so smart...they ought to know something as simple as 'filial duty'.

Unfortunately....these days...people can opt to have selective memory lost. When it comes to 'filial duty', suddenly...workloads are too much for them to be making trips to the atm machine. Geez...even when there's banking online, people still dunno how to make use of modern technology. 'I FORGOT' became their favorite quoth.

I feel so sorry for such folks. They work so hard to give the children. But what do they get in return? Just 'something to brag about'.

My sister often commented that she feel very sorry for our parents (usually after listening to people bragging about their well to do kids). That our parents have nothing to brag about. None of my siblings are like 'rich and famous' or brainy. But I beg to differ. I think our parents have much to be proud of. I know they are happy they get to spend much quality time with all of us. What we cannot give in terms of materials, we compensate with love and company. True, we cannot live on LOVE alone, but being loved does emulates a good, profound life.

To those who are still in a stupor, go watch movie the likes of 'Everybody's fine'. Then picture your parents at their death bed. What life would be like without them. That ought to wake you up a bit.

Nothing irks me more than watching people who forgets their 'filial duty'. What makes it even more annoying is, when they dare to tell the whole world of their worthy possessions while their parents needs are not taken care of.

Which is why, I have change my expectations on my kids. Of course I would like for them to do their very best in their studies, but...I do not expect them to be some big shots. What's the point if I am going to end up all alone and miserable with lots of money stuffed in my brassiere. Blerghhh!!

But...I do hope one of them gets to be a doctor. I think it's awesome you get to save lives. Imagine this, you get to spare the life of some one's love ones. You're responsible for so MUCH happiness :D, been watching too much Grey's Anatomy lols)

Finding Happiness

2010-05-21T11:20:00.005+08:00

pics courtesy of Mr.Jong Soon Fan

First of all, you need to find out what makes you happy..before you could go find HAPPINESS. I find myself constantly evolving on my way in pursuit of happiness.

Gone were the life full of materialistic stuff that I long for. Gone were the life full of affirmation. Gone were the life full of adoration .

None of that matters now.

Yes...at this ripe age of 41, I have turned my course for Happiness to 180 degrees from the first time I made the X. Why the change? I don't really know. All I know is...sometime what you think can make you happy - don't.

Things are much more fun when you don't plan for it to happen. The less you expect, the more thrill you get. At least for me, can't say for anyone else.

The school holidays are approaching. I'll be spending some quality time with grandma (always a good crack winding her up :P) and meeting schoolmates. Caoilinn can't wait to see the new puppy and Boo...well, he has his itinerary lined up I'm sure.

Then..the second half of the holidays, I have a date with the dear one. Nothing major planned. Just gonna hang out and hit the gastronomical journey like we usually do. So... looking forward to good times ; )

Random Thoughts

2010-05-20T08:23:00.010+08:00

Sometimes I wonder what sort of people dropped by this place and read my crap. Wish there's like a scribble board where they can write,

'Hiya..it's me Tom/ Dick/ Harry, been here :D ciao!!' (you know..something like that).

Wonder if I should filter some of the profanity, just in case I have kooceeerat under the age of 5 reading this. LMAO!!!!(Am putting 5 as age limit cause any kid above 5, could cuss these days. Might even be younger than that). God knows where my niece been polishing her vocab from, WHAT THE....this and that. A good thing she knows how to stop at WHAT THE...hehehhehehe! Knowing her momma, my niece would be in BIG trouble if she completes those sentences.

At times, I feel like an idiot rambling on and on in here, without a purpose or direction. But then again, this is the place where I'm suppose to channel my kookiness. So..lantak lah eh!!!!

Several weeks ago, a friend of mine who I had no idea was following my blog, text the dear one, asking if I might be interested in a used computer. After reading about my son's predicament, my good friend there, thought of us when he saw an opportunity. The company he's working for had just replaced their computers. Said he'll try to talk to his boss into letting him keep the old ones. "I'll give dirty looks to those who comes within a meter radius of that computer" he jokingly told me.

I was so touched, but that little ol' problem had been solved. Still...it made me smile whenever I thought about stuff that people do for me. That we are in their thoughts. I feel very blessed indeed.

A Union Of Everlasting Love

2010-05-19T13:39:00.007+08:00

Would you want to be unify with someone forever and ever? Not just 'till death to us part' , I am talking about this life, next life, previous life kinda thing. Scary thoughts huh?
Was telling Ms.Meryl about how the dear one and me got connected. And no matter how stormy our relationship can be, we would always end up together again.
She reckon me and the dear probably made a pack to be together in our previous life. Hmmmmm...!

She told me about the time when her husband was almost to his last breath. How she had to tell him that they are husband and wife only for this lifetime, after this..he go his way and she will go her way, they SHALL NOT be husband and wife anymore in the next life. Eeeyewwwww! Personally, I thought that was a bit crude to say to a dying husband. Certainly not the kinda thing I wanna hear just before I kick the bucket.

But according to Ms. Meryl, that's how it should be done or you'll end up with mismatch couples. Such as a very elderly lady paired up with a young man. Or one kooky straight lady and a gorgeous looking gay dude in my case. Mwahahahahhahaha! I dunno if I wanna believe all these reincarnation zhit. But sometimes....I see stuff that made me go 'Holy cowshit!!' seeing is believing.

So...million dollar question is, do I still want to be in this everlasting union with the dear one in my next life? Hrrmmmmmmm...I wouldn't mind actually. Who say you need to be a proper couple to be happy eh. We can be good buddies until it's time we puff our last breath.

And a 'Gay' makes Three.

2010-05-18T07:12:00.015+08:00

So, wanna make babies??? Nah!!! You'll only torture the living daylights of them.

I thought by making my gay friend stepping outta closet would make a certain lady stop drooling. Sighhhhhh.....seems like a good effort puts to a blardy waste. What can I say.....gay men makes the best BFs. They dress well, sensitive by nature, has an impeccable taste in mostly anything and.... and by golly, they make such great first impression on the old folks. (Well some are...at least)

During the last visit the love of my live made here, he practically swooned all the ladies I've introduced him to. They've been yapping about how good looking he is and what fine mannerism he's got. In other words, what a mighty fine candidate he'd make for their sisters/cousins/nieces etc...

Ms Meryl : Ohhhhhh he's so fineeeee isn't he?

Me : Yes he is indeed. (Wait till you catch him coming outta wrong side of the bed pfffff!)

Ms.Meryl (Looking like she's about to swoon) : And he's ever so friendly.....not proud at all.

Me : yep..yep...

Ms. Meryl : When I was with the village people yesterday, was telling my elder brother that I've found him a great husband for his eldest daughter, my niece. My brother was over the moon with this news.

Me : (Grinning...waiting to burst her bubble with what knowledge I've got about him )

Ms. Meryl : My elder sister was telling everyone, how he's a PILOT and all that!!!!

Me : (WTF!!!!) Ehhhhh he's not a pilot, he's just some glorified toilet cleaner larr! Who happens to clean toilets high up in the sky.

Ms. Meryl : (Cackling like witch of the eastwick) That's a nice way of putting it.

Me : You do realised that he's gay right?

Ms. Meryl : Yeah...of course I do! Sayang hor??? (what a pity)

Now..what's with this 'sayang' business whenever the people come across a very good looking gay. Is it such a waste that those pretty faces wouldn't be put to good use for a 'normal relationship' or 'too bad I can't hump him for myself' thingy? :P

If only I could collect a penny for every 'sayang'(what a pity) I heard, when they've come to realised the sexual preference of my good friend there, geez I would be a millionaire by now.

I've been in this platonic relationship with the dear one for nearly half a century, I don't see what so 'sayang' about not having to bonk him. Sex usually ruin things for me, and for others too I think. So....I think I got a great thing going on here. He's away most of the time...(which is good, cos at times he drives me up the wall), but when he's around we'll have like the greatest time :) I don't get jealous over him, or worry he's gonna two time me etc...it's a good combo I tell ya!!!! Anyway....I think he's practically ruin any chance I've got of having any sorts of relationship with any other man. No man would be good enough for me, according to him. And which man could take this 'high drama' episodes which occasionally make way into my life with the dear one? Just hit on me the other day.( I know..I'm s.l.o.w) I cried my eyes out over the thought of losing him while sleeping with my back against my bf then. No BFs is gonna be able to take that his GF is crying over the thought of losing another dude. Gay or not gay...that's just not acceptable. So it looks like I'm stuck with him for good. Good thing or not, only time will tell :P

And what's with the sexual suggestions people keep giving me, ways to unbend my good gay friend......I'm shocked....trully shocked.
" Just fondle him a bit here and there larr, when you guys are in bed together..see if the plumbing works!!" WTH..as if a few erections is gonna make him straight? Blerghhh!!!!

Yes there were times we slept in the same bed when he's around. And yes there were times I felt him snuggled right beside my boobs, but I usually just push him away. Not because I do not trust myself, just can't stand him snoring at my racks. :P

Don't think I've ever had any of those 'let's do the nasty' feeling towards him. He's like a kid who tries to get into comfy positions, and by comfy meaning snuggled up close to where the heat source is, in this case..any part of the body really...what can I say, I'm like a baked oven..lols! But we've both been very comfortable with each other, there was no awkwardness or discomfort whenever occasionally, such incidents happened.

See...I'm having a 'NOT so normal relationship' and yet I am happy as a bee. So..what's there to be 'what a pity' about having a beautiful friend who's not straight??? I'd have his baby any day of the year if that's what makes him happy.

Being Dad.

2010-05-13T08:19:00.001+08:00

Me and the old man have such strange relationship. Among my siblings, I am the one that spoke to my dad with a tone higher than the rest. Call me rude if you must, but that's just the way I am with Papa.

Besides being the daughter with the least diplomatic skill, I am currently at the TOP of his Black book list. So why waste a good opportunity eh? No need to drag other people into this..let moi do the dirty job. I am the health inspector/finance controller sent from HELL to make sure dad is in substantial clean bill of health and dosh.

I think one of the reasons why we used to clash so much when we're together is because we're so alike in many ways. Not until recently, I'm beginning to see more and more similarity between me and the old man. His penchant for interior decorating. His predilection for beautiful things, be it flowers , dinner ware, even small girls frilly frocks. Hehhehehehhe! Mom once quoted 'He should be a woman. Sure shops like one!!' I used to wonder where did I inherit this madness for laces, baubles, sequins and all things that glitters. Now I know!!!

While helping my sister out with her current food business, I stumble upon many more alikeness with the old man. We both strive to give the best for the customer and holds great pride in our heritage. Even to little details on food presentations and ideas on how we'd like the shop to be are similitude.

More evidence unravel as I start to pay more attention to the old man's habits and circumstances. Gosh....it's starting to freak me out a little bit.

BUT....bottom line is, there's more good than bad that I inherit from him. So I'm ok with that :D